1.
My "snooze" button should just be called the "nope, no yoga today" button.
2.
Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now.
3.
I remember when yoga was called Twister
4.
My favourite yoga position is sleeping.
5.
I didn't realise how good I was at yoga but I do number 13 all the time
6.
I didn't get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
7.
Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite
8.
I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.
9.
Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote.
10.
*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*
11.
[Dog yoga class] Teacher: Alright, let's go into downward human pose [Dogs hunch over and start pretending to text]
12.
Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, 'next we go into our downward dog,' it is frowned upon to make the 'bowchickabowow' sound.
13.
Fitness level: Just used a yoga DVD as a coaster for my beer. Namaste.
14.
Yoga may be the key to your flexibility. Alcohol is the key to mine.
15.
Moose: Sorry, I need to quit this yoga class. Yoga Instructor: NahMooseStay!
16.
I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail.
17.
“Say ur a bad girl” I’m a bad girl “oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do…” ooh i’m gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice
18.
Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
19.
I do yoga so I can dress myself when I'm single.
20.
I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip cookie that I dropped under the table.
21.
I'm doing Bikram yoga today. By that I mean I'm in the back seat of a hot car trying to contort myself enough to reach the ignition.
22.
Gave my cat some almond milk and now she teaches hot yoga on Thursday nights.
23.
*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?