1. Chip butties in general
The hot chips melt the butter, then the bread goes squishy and it's wonderful.
2. Butter pies
There is no food more comforting than a butter pie.
3. But also cheese and onion pies
Bonus points if your pastry is homemade.
4. Basically, putting everything in a pie
Everything is better when it's encased in pastry.
5. Chips covered in curry sauce
Add cheese if you're hungover.
6. Being able to buy two hot pastries for a pound
It's a real mystery that Poundbakery hasn't spread to the south.
7. Curing a hangover with an ice-cold can of Vimto
Usually purchased from the chip shop.
8. And curing a cold with a hot mug of Vimto
It's much more effective than Lemsip.
9. Curing literally everything else with a brew
Tummy bugs, heartbreak, losing your job... A good cuppa tea can solve everything.
10. Calling a bread roll a barm, bap, bread cake, cob, stotty, or any other regional variety on the name
And putting icing on it for pudding is perfectly legit.
11. And calling lunch "dinner"
And dinner "tea".
12. Buying breakfast, lunch, or dinner from Greggs being perfectly acceptable
It's not your fault they cater perfectly for every meal.
13. Chips covered in gravy
Chips should never really be served without gravy.
14. Or even better: chips covered in cheese and gravy
They should be so soggy that you literally can't pick them up without making a mess.
15. Especially if they're from the chip shop and they're served with scraps
This is the ultimate chip shop order.
16. Covering everything with treacle around Bonfire Night
Your teeth should physically ache by the time the fireworks start.
17. Eating Kendal Mint Cake as a treat
It tastes a bit like toothpaste but in a delicious way.
18. All of our amazing junk foods
Munchie boxes, chicken parmo, and parched peas, to name a few.
19. And all of our delicious stodgy puddings
Parkin, Manchester tart, and Chester pudding are all delicious in their own ways.
20. Using Henderson's Relish to improve a standard serving of cheese on toast
The world's greatest brunch.
21. Paying less than £5 for a pint
Seriously.
