5 Stages Looking For A Job

Because the job search can feel a lot like grief these days.

1. Denial

NBC

A job? In this economy? No, no, no. You’re relaxing. Applying to one job per day, if you can squeeze it in. The perfect job will find YOU. Bill Gates said that once, probably.

2. Anger

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Pump the brakes for a second. How has Becky accepted a full-time position with benefits when you haven’t even heard back from Uncle Jim who promised he had “the hook up” with a “really great start-up”? Why won’t any recruiters call you back? Are they too busy talking to BECKY about her 401K and DENTAL INSURANCE? WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT BECKY?

3. Bargaining

FX / Via giphy.com

You’re getting a little desperate. You’re applying to 73 jobs per day. You’ve set your desired location to “Literally anywhere on Earth. Open to planetary relocation.” You’re considering internships that require you to pay your employer a monthly salary. You’ve started responding to Craigslist job postings that have winky emojis in the title.

4. Depression

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The search is pointless. You can’t read the local job listings because your tears keep blurring the newspaper ink. You’ve been wearing the same pajamas for days and your hair is starting to attract woodland animals—like Cinderella, but not cute and a lot less helpful.

5. Acceptance

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Hopefully this step means you’ve accepted a job! Or maybe you’ve just come to accept the inevitability of you and your loved ones’ impending deaths as you spend 13 hours in the fetal position in your parents’ basement, surviving off Gushers and Lunchables as you mentally revert back to a time of childhood bliss. But hopefully you accepted a job! Go you!