Natural Hair and Self Image
I was only 11 years old when I recall being fed up with my kinky textured hair. I had just gotten a verbal ass kicking from my classmates and was called an African Booty Scratcher, Nappy Yappy, and things that were so scarring I remember them verbatim 12 years later (don’t judge me, kids can be brutal). I was sick and tired of the name calling and being chosen last for dodgeball every single time, which meant I was at the bottom of the middle school totem pole right before the boy that picked his nose in public. All the cool black girls had gotten relaxers which chemically took their kinks and left them with silky smooth straight hair. I wanted in on the deal.
I would wear my hair relaxed until 16 when with color damaged, thin, and generally dead hair, I wanted my natural hair back. My aunt who was the one that did my braids from birth to my pre-relaxed hair at 11 met me on the other side with a good ol’ I told ya so. Besides putting my hair in braids, I literally had no clue what to do with it. Even at 16 and after spending a year transitioning back to natural I was still straightening my hair every two weeks, never actually embracing my curls. In college I “upgraded” to extensions where I was still hiding my texture and passing it off as straight. I wore my hair in weaves all throughout college until I moved to Manhattan, sat next to a beautiful woman on the subway with an afro the size of Texas, and decided that this could be me if I stopped playing.
I wanted to throw off the chains that kept me from embracing my kinks, coils, and curls. At the age 23 I have now just begun my journey and realize that I have absolutely no idea how to care for my hair. That’s right-I am a grown (?) adult and did not know how to wash, moisturize, and care for the hair growing out of my own head. I’ve also realized that although I am no longer scared of classmates teasing me, I am now left wondering if wearing my natural is “appropriate” for corporate America-a thought I dread and am even disappointed for having to think.
For help with learning about how to care for natural hair I turned to what we all do when we’re at a dead end. I looked to Google. There, I found a wealth of information including what my hair texture is after using a helpful infographic with different curl patterns and a number and letter assigned to each (usually ranging from 2-4 and A-C, with 4C being the tightest curl pattern). So often, mainstream hair products are not for afro textured hair and contain harmful and drying ingredients like sulfates which strip afro textured hair of moisture, weaken the hair shaft, and cause extensive breakage. I was steered to a few natural hair bloggers/vloggers who have helped me build my natural hair routine which is absent from shampoos and instead replaced by cleansing conditioners, I sleep with a silk scarf to retain my hairs moisture through the night, and now have a small cabinet full of products made specifically African textured hair.
As someone working in corporate America, I rarely see a diverse group of women to be begin with, and of those women, I see close to none wearing their natural. Instead, I see more articles of instances where black men and women get job offers rescinded for having dreadlocks, young girls being encourage by their schools to take down their braids, really, the list goes on. I have made small steps from wearing my natural hair exclusively in a sleeked back bun to gathering just enough courage to wear my hair out without any restraints and am excited to start this. If there isn’t an example being set, I guess it is up to me to set one. Of course, everyone has a right to wear their hair as they like, and I am by no means saying that all black women should wear their natural hair. This is a personal journey for me and one I hope those interested in starting themselves are encouraged. To think that I once shelled out hundreds of dollars buying hair extensions and then another few hundred to a hair stylist for putting the style in. Before, like so many others with kinky hair, I left the styling, even the washing to a salon. I had never washed my hair on my own and often left the fate of my hair to someone else. It is extremely empowering to care for my hair and see the beauty in all the ways in which my natural hair can be styled-ways I overlooked for all my life up until this point.
I was only 11 years old when I recall being fed up with my kinky textured hair. I had just gotten a verbal ass kicking from my classmates and was called an African Booty Scratcher, Nappy Yappy, and things that were so scarring I remember them verbatim 12 years later (don’t judge me, kids can be brutal). I was sick and tired of the name calling and being chosen last for dodgeball every single time, which meant I was at the bottom of the middle school totem pole right before the boy that picked his nose in public. All the cool black girls had gotten relaxers which chemically took their kinks and left them with silky smooth straight hair. I wanted in on the deal.
I would wear my hair relaxed until 16 when with color damaged, thin, and generally dead hair, I wanted my natural hair back. My aunt who was the one that did my braids from birth to my pre-relaxed hair at 11 met me on the other side with a good ol’ I told ya so. Besides putting my hair in braids, I literally had no clue what to do with it. Even at 16 and after spending a year transitioning back to natural I was still straightening my hair every two weeks, never actually embracing my curls. In college I “upgraded” to extensions where I was still hiding my texture and passing it off as straight. I wore my hair in weaves all throughout college until I moved to Manhattan, sat next to a beautiful woman on the subway with an afro the size of Texas, and decided that this could be me if I stopped playing.
I wanted to throw off the chains that kept me from embracing my kinks, coils, and curls. At 23 I have now just begun my journey and realize that I have absolutely no idea how to care for my hair. That’s right-I am a grown (?) adult and did not know how to wash, moisturize, and care for the hair growing out of my own head. I’ve also realized that although I am no longer scared of classmates teasing me, I am now left wondering if wearing my natural is “appropriate” for corporate America-a thought I dread and am even disappointed for having to think.
For help with learning about how to care for natural hair I turned to what we all do when we’re at a dead end. I looked to Google. There, I found a wealth of information including what my hair texture is after using a helpful infographic with different curl patterns and a number and letter assigned to each (usually ranging from 2-4 and A-C, with 4C being the tightest curl pattern). So often, mainstream hair products are not for afro textured hair and contain harmful and drying ingredients like sulfates which strip afro textured hair of moisture, weaken the hair shaft, and cause extensive breakage. I was steered to a few natural hair bloggers/vloggers who have helped me build my natural hair routine which is absent from shampoos and instead replaced by cleansing conditioners, I sleep with a silk scarf to retain my hairs moisture through the night, and now have a small cabinet full of products made specifically African textured hair.
As someone working in corporate America, I rarely see a diverse group of women to be begin with, and of those women, I see close to none wearing their natural. Instead, I see more articles of instances where black men and women get job offers rescinded for having dreadlocks, young girls being encourage by their schools to take down their braids, really, the list goes on. I have made small steps from wearing my natural hair exclusively in a sleeked back bun to gathering just enough courage to wear my hair out without any restraints and am excited to start this. If there isn’t an example being set, I guess it is up to me to set one. Of course, everyone has a right to wear their hair as they like, and I am by no means saying that all black women should wear their natural hair. This is a personal journey for me and one I hope those interested in starting themselves are encouraged. To think that I once shelled out hundreds of dollars buying hair extensions and then another few hundred to a hair stylist for putting the style in. Before, like so many others with kinky hair, I left the styling, even the washing to a salon. I had never washed my hair on my own and often left the fate of my hair to someone else. It is extremely empowering to care for my hair and see the beauty in all the ways in which my natural hair can be styled-ways I overlooked for all my life up until this point.
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