1. you wake up every morning and within minutes are crying
"why god why!? blast you for another day in my hellish existence!"
2. your past is haunting you
ya you had an ok childhood. a few good friends. but, those embarrassing moments of upskirt flashes and classroom boners sit readily in the front of your brain (amongst the darker crud), unwilling to disembark from your memory for good. hols sh$t, it's never ending in your mental breakdown. just remember, it'll be this way until you hit death, making death seem far more enjoyable.
3. cats seem like a good investment
obviously the age-old cat lady (and man) must come into play. you've never liked cats, never owned a pet, and all of the sudden bringing a feline into the home seems like a good idea. naw, step-back. re-evaluate. you are in the midst of a mental breakdown. avoid bringing new lifeforms around you at all costs.
4. you only socialize to get blasted drunk
hey, the world within the walls of a mental breakdown aren't all bad. getting blasted drunk and feeling no remorse can be seen as a positive. although, any form of positivity is going against the granular make-up of a proper mental breakdown. so.....
5. isolation and far too many candles
dude, you're only in your twenties and have already given into your life destined as a recluse wherein candlelight is a means of survival rather than meditation. congrats on being nothing.
6. getting stoned everyday
"but I live in Cali, Bro"
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