1. If you aren’t an 80s kid/teen, this might be the only way you think of Nic Cage: sort of handsome in a creepy dad wearing foundation way, but more of an action star than a heartthrob.
2. But in the ’80s? In the ’80s, Nicolas Cage was a full blown hottie.
4. Where to even start here? The perfectly blown-out hair? The eyebrows fluffy enough to engulf your body like a warm blanket? Those heavy lids? The ever-present chest hair? EVERYTHING?!?!!!
5. In Valley Girl he was charming as hell.
6. Whatever you’re asking, Nic, the answer is Yes. YES.
8. In Moonstruck, we were able to admire the majestic sculptures known as “Nic Cage’s arms”.
9. Speaking of which, observe perhaps the secret height of of Nicolas Cage’s foxiness: Birdy
10. About those arms: In 1986, Cage played famous Toronto sculler Ned Hanlan.
11. Uh, sorry, what? I got distracted.
12. Young Nicolas Cage also had a pre-Cullen turn as a teen vampire, and needless to say: hot.
13. He even made an appearance as an unhappy fast food worker in Fast Times At Ridgemont High
14. Standing next to lesser hotness? Proving of his supreme foxiness.
15. Thinking about the futility of existence or whatever else is in that giant brain of his? THE HUNKIEST.
16. You can raise my Arizona anytime, sir.
17. We haven’t even talked about this fucking guy in Peggy Sue Got Married.
18. IN CONCLUSION, YOUNG NIC CAGE PLEASE MARRY ME I LOVE YOU JUST DON’T GET OLDER OK THANKS
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