Penises: I think we can all agree they're pretty weird!
So today, Reddit user 1234rocks1234 posed a question to the internet: "Women, what surprised you the most the first time you saw or played with a penis?"
Here are some of the funniest, strangest, and just plain realest things people didn't realize about dicks until they saw one IRL:
1. "BALL SKIN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING. Surreal. It’s like a moving Magic Eye painting."
2. "How squishy it is flaccid."
3. "The texture! When they said 'hard' I didn't know what to expect....but it wasn't that."
4. "What struck me the most was that it's just there, dangling away, all day, every day, just hanging out with its ball buddies. Like how do you not sit on it? Is it not constantly annoying you? Is the satisfaction of unsticking it from your thighs worth the discomfort of it sticking in the first place?"
5. "[I thought] it had ribs. I was confused as hell, it really felt like there were bones in there. Only later did I realize that it was the condoms we used that had those structures on it. Took a while for me to get used to the fact that dicks usually don't have ribs..."
6. "How hard they actually get."
7. "Saw a 'grower, not a show-er' and was super impressed by the size when erect compared to flaccid."
8. "I expected the penis, but I didn't expect the balls to be so...there."
9. "That it sort of floated in a bath...I didn’t expect that."
10. "The penis wasn’t all one uniform color, and was veiny. And don’t even get me started on when I saw the balls. I remember thinking 'Why are they just hanging like THAT?'"
11. "The veins!"
12. "So I had never seen even so much as a picture of a penis, I had only seen babies naked like while changing diapers, so I was absolutely SHOOK by the size of the thing. It was like five times bigger than I expected and I was freaked out — it reminded me of a dangling third leg."
13. "How completely floppy and structureless it is when soft. I always want to flop it around like those gel sparkle stress toy tubes from the '90s."
14. "It can jump on its own."
15. "My girlfriend thought penises had to be hard to go pee."
16. "How goofy it looks when flaccid. Like it's just this weird stretchy knob hanging out between your legs, how can that not feel weird when you walk? How do you walk and not squish everything between your thighs with every step?? Still blows my mind a little when I stop to think about it."
17. "Helicopter dick. That shit was wild the first time I saw it."
18. "The texture of the skin, soft and warm. But also how it had a curve in it, I thought a penis was meant to be completely straight..."
19. "Not my proudest moment, but the first time I saw my first boyfriend ejaculate I giggled and said 'volcano' and was way too happy. My ex-boyfriend was confused."
20. "The way the hard part stayed put but the skin moved around it. I don’t know how else to describe it."
And finally...
21. "Not the penis, but testicles are...alive. Like two separate, living entities in a soft skin bag. I could not believe how much they move around and if you give them a little poke, they move even more. And then if it’s cold, the skin underneath gets all thick and clumpy. They are extremely fun."
Alright, your turn! What surprised YOU about penises the first time you interacted with one? Sound off in the comments.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.