“Here’s every cent of your $95.”
“CUT MY TRUST FUND INTO PIECES. I WAS PROMISED A RESORT.”
“I only hire the best people. And when I don’t, it’s Obama’s fault,” one Twitter user mocked.
“I just want to know how y’all in high school affording red bottoms while I’m over here eating sleep for dinner.”
“Looks like it’s not just Samsung’s phones giving people burns.”
“It’s literally a poison-infused abomination.”
People (and their families) are now rooting for the couple to get back together.
Great parenting or best parenting?
“We treat you like we treat your luggage.”
“That dog eats wayyy better than me.”
“Brian Williams was talking about cruise missiles tonight like they were being launched by his own dick and IMO it was revolting as shit.”
“When you have war at 7 but a croquet game at 8.”
“Imagine the peace we would have in the world if Kendall Jenner handed ISIS a Pepsi.”
“My coworker, a male, told me my underwear was showing. The legging had ripped across my entire butt cheek.”