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Would YOU Survive Late'n'Live?

You're a (relative) comedy newbie in the early 2000's. It's an early gig in your career and it's at 'the celebrated comedy abattoir that has slain a thousand comics' (The Scotsman). Choose how you'd take on the crowd and find out how you and your comedy spirit animal fared! Death or glory awaits...

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  1. Choose an outfit...

    Beige jacket, no shirt (nips out), brown flares.
    White vest, blood bags strapped to your chest, nae shoes.
    Bandanna, cardie, knee-high boots.
    Yellow t-shirt, casual jeans.
    Cowboy shirt, jeans and some sweet, sweet kicks.
    Flannel shirt, snapback and some old skool trainers.
  2. Which radge thing do you decide to do on stage?

    Sony Pictures
    Ask the audience to throw coins at you.
    Call out a comedian for heckling you then immediately admit defeat.
    Unravel a roll of toilet paper and pretend to be the Andrex puppy.
    Scrap your act and opt for public urination instead.
    Wrestle a punter over the origins of a meringue based dessert.
    Bring on your bike and give it to a member of the audience.
  3. The audience start to heckle. How do you respond?

    Gilded Balloon
    With a combination of self-deprecation and whimsy.
    PROVOKE 'EM!
    You don't.
    Lean into it. There's nothing they can say to you that you haven't already heard.
    Assume a lunge position and get ready to slay. They're going to regret taking you on.
    Engage them in conversation then immediately regret it.

Would YOU Survive Late'n'Live?

You got: You're Johnny Vegas and YOU SURVIVED!

You were a hot mess but everybody loved you... even though Adam Hills had to lure you off stage because you were meant to finish 20 minutes ago. Sure, the audience threw coins at you and some landed in your PINT of Baileys but that just meant you had some change to buy chips on the way home. Win-win!

You're Johnny Vegas and YOU SURVIVED!
Gilded Balloon
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You got: You're Russell Brand and you didn't quite survive... this time.

Not your finest gig. Maybe if you had worn shoes it could have turned out differently? You certainly would have avoided standing on that glass from the bottle you smashed on stage. Not that it matters, life works out pretty well for you in a few years time.

You're Russell Brand and you didn't quite survive... this time.
Gilded Balloon
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You got: You're Ava Vidal and you NEARLY survived.

It was an early gig in your career and on this occasion DANIEL FREAKING KITSON decided to heckle you. That's right, king of comedy, Daniel Kitson decided to heckle you at one of your first gigs... what's a gal to do? Come back and smash it the next year. Damn straight.

You're Ava Vidal and you NEARLY survived.
Gilded Balloon
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You got: You're Scott Capurro and YOU SURVIVED!

You literally took the piss and the crowd loved it. A giddy Russell Howard looked on as you gave in to the audience request for you to wee on a jumper... you did it. Jimmy Carr came out to mop up after you. Where else would that happen but Late 'n' Live?

You're Scott Capurro and YOU SURVIVED!
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You got: You're Jarred Christmas and you ABSOLUTELY survived!

Christmas came early for you on this occasion! You spent the majority of your set (lovingly) wrestling a punter based on an argument about the origins of pavlova. It was great. Fully great.

You're Jarred Christmas and you ABSOLUTELY survived!
Gilded Balloon
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You got: You're David O'Doherty and you're a survivor!

What's the time? It's David O'Doherty time. Smashed it, mate. You cracked some jokes, gave away your only mode of transport to a punter and then watched him crowd surf with it into the Edinburgh night. Belter!

You're David O'Doherty and you're a survivor!
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