Hello!
Yes, this is a post about mental health. Just a reminder, if you need help, call or text 988 for help. This is a serious post. DO NOT mock or yell at people in the comments, please. This is about depression, anxiety, and pain in general. Do not get angry. If you cannot handle these topics, leave. It is fine. Okay, let's get started. I am sharing my Mental Health journey with everyone today, and feel free to share yours in the comments (it is okay for it to be long). Thank you.
So it all started when I was three (yes, three) and my Great-grandfather died. It was so sudden, and me and my sister were so close to him, that it hit us hard. We spent the next few days grieving, and at the funeral, we all cried, like normal. But my grief lasted longer than everybody else's grief. I felt as if his death was my fault. I felt like there was some reason he died, and that it was because God didn't want him to have to be with me anymore. I did not know it yet, but that was the start.
Then, when I was 7, I met a new friend. Her name was Anna, and she was the best darn friend ever. But in fourth grade, we got distant. At the time, I felt like it was my fault again. I still, to this day, have no idea why. I was already suffering from Depression, and I (again) just thought my anxiety was being scared. That's it. My mother had Depression and Anxiety too, so she helped comfort me.
The thing is, not quite everyone understood what mental illnesses were. Every time I had a Panic Attack, I would hear giggles and "Grow up"s from my classmates. I felt as if I was alone. I tried to cut myself a couple times, but, as the upcoming summer, I would have to show my scars. So I resorted to something WAY less noticeable. I cut my hair. You may have not heard of that, but it helped me. I do NOT RECCOMEND THAT. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HARM OR HURT YOURSELF IN ANY WAY. THIS WAS ME YEARS AGO, AND I REGRET THAT. So I would snip a but of my hair and go on with my day. But here is the part we're it really hurt me: sometimes there were no scissors around, so I ripped out some of my hair. It hurt so bad that I wanted to cry, but it also felt good. Again, please do NOT try self harm, suicide, or any other thing that could tear you from the world.
Also, a boy named Tre bugs me all the time. Tre, if you are seeing this. This is not okay. Now you see my pain, maybe you will have some gosh darn sympathy for once and fricking apologize. Back on topic. He makes Racist and Sexist jokes every time I see him, and he says really inappropriate things to girls and women alike. So, Tre, again, if you are reading this, WHAT THE HECK. Okay, enough of my blabbering. If you have any storied to share, please do. We can help you. Another reminder to the judgemental people. If you don't like somebody's story, DONT READ IT. Do not blast people in the commments please.
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