My observations on how 'they' live on the other side of the world. I was in Australia a few months ago and here’s some of what I learned:
• Everyone is too polite, patient and calm
• No one cuts in line
• Don't fuck with Australian border control
• Drivers abide by the rules of the road
• They have slang for everything: "let's go for a bevvie this arvo with the fam in Darlo"
• FOOD is next level, but you damn well pay for it
• There is a fly infestation on every beach. It’s fucking awful
• Huntsman spiders are the devil incarnate that are actually HELPFUL to humans
• There is no crime
• In Sydney, no alcohol shots allowed after midnight
• Marmite is Vegemite
• There is no crime
• Aussies will have wine with anything at any point
• Their vineyards are nice but ours are 1000x better
• Every time they say the word ‘cunt’, their life force gets replenished
• There has only been two deaths in from a spider bite since 1979
• In Sydney, bars close at 2am
• There is no crime
• There are no guns but just about every animal can kill you
• In Sydney, there is a bar lock-out at 1am. If you walk out, you can’t walk back in.
• 80% of them have degrees in marine biology
• Prawn braai is very popular and fantastic
• It is illegal to walk on the right-hand side of a footpath
• Washing machines and washing lines are in the bathrooms
• No washing dryer
• People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbours or the government
• Save enough coins and you can gym with them
• The bathroom light switches are on the inside of the bathroom (mind blown)
• There is no crime
• Police go undercover to catch people drinking illegally
• There are no black people
• Healthy food options everywhere
• Folks don’t always lock their bikes. Or houses.
• Everyone has access to university and healthcare
• There is no crime
• Everyone waits for the green man before walking
• If you speed, you get a ticket. Period. Always
• If you park illegally, you get a ticket. Period. Always
• You actually have to pay your traffic fines. All of them
• You don’t tip. YOU DON’T TIP
• Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb
• Diversity. None. (White White White Asian White White Asian White-Asian Asian-White)
• They have a Baywatch reality show called Bondi Rescue. It's their guilty pleasure
• Don’t go to Canberra and Perth
• In Sydney, wearing gym clothes all the time is fashionable
• There is no crime
• Dogs are super well trained and welcome everywhere. They walk next to owners without leads. Better than the majority of humans
• I don’t think I have ever been bitten so many times by mosquitos
• Their cash is monopoly money
• You can’t buy a burger anywhere after 20:45
• Avo Smash is literally just Avocado on toast. I don’t give
them credit for this
• There is no crime
• Tobacco costs $50 (R550) and cigarettes cost $25 (R275)
• Cigarettes have beautiful artwork on the boxes. Look it up
• Havaianas/ Flip Flops are called thongs (?)
• Sport is Religion. AFL is their biggest sport. It is hectic
• Coffee is also religious and it's magnificent
• There is no news on TV
• Did I mention that there is no crime?
**DISCLAIMER**
I was only in Sydney / Melbourne for 3 weeks. This is all in good fun.
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