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10 Things I Learnt During My First Heartbreak..

You never realise how much it's like the movies until you're the one crying in the rain.. Here's hoping this gives you a heads up for what to expect.

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1. First Comes The Flood..

It's true to say that no matter what to expect, always and I mean ALWAYS expect tears.. even from the person ending the relationship..feelings are confusing and it's just the first stage everyone should come to expect.

2. There's 3 sides to every story

Your side, Their side, and the truth. Simple as that. But don't be the person to make your mutuals pick, it might be messy, they might pick on their own, but don't be the one to say "Me or them" Heartbreak is a lonely place without friends!

3. Friends, some will stay, some will go.

It's true when they say the tough times in life show you who's down for you no matter what, and who isn't. Picture this; Day 2 of Heartbreak, no make-up, unbrushed hair, yesterday's clothes, bags under my eyes and the most insufferable version of myself.. yet still the good'uns had me up out of bed in the coffee shop fuelling me with caffeine and love. Keep them around.

4. It will catch you off guard.

You can be scrolling your phone, listening to the radio or in my case, strolling through the supermarket, the smallest thing whatever connects with you will set you off and you will cry. It's human nature, go easy on yourself, it's hard, but it won't always be THIS hard.

5. Go easy on yourself...and your liver.

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE.. (Shout out to my mother) will try and get you a little drunk, because hey, that's what you do when your friend is sad, you get them drunk to *have a good time* ..the first few times (at least) will begin, end and be filled with tears.. don't worry, they'll understand. Your liver on the other hand might not.. take it easy..ish.

6. Socialise. Locking yourself away isn't going to help.

Trust me when I say, all I wanted to do (and still want to) is curl up in bed and stay there forever, but that isn't going to help you longterm, short term sure you'll be less exhausted (once the crying subsides) but longterm getting out and about with friends and family is so much more help than you think it'll be.. laughter is the best medicine.

7. Everyone deals with this kind of thing differently.

A particular friend of mine made a suggestion of "getting back on the horse" as it were.. and don't get me wrong, for some that might help, but for me I wanted to feel like me again and I knew meeting strangers in bars was not the way to do that. Do what you want to do to feel better, so long as you aren't hurting anyone else, do what makes you happy.

8. Keep busy.

Fill all that time you had for you and your S.O before with new activities, get a new book, meditate, go walking, paint, go play pool with friends, find new music, join a club, make plans you look forward to. It does help.

9. As cliche as it is...

Get a new do. I've never really been the kind of girl that was bothered by my hair, but getting a fresh hair do and changing things up for a bit does make you feel so much better. New, fresh, different, colour, cut, hell maybe just buy an out-there hat. You'll be surprised!

10. Self Care is everything.

Self care is honestly everything, there's nothing worse than seeing your friends for the first time since, and I mean your BFF, and them leaving worried because you aren't "looking after yourself". Get up earlier, eat your greens, take long showers and bubble baths, treat yourself to a new jacket, hit up the spa, read, meditate, take time for you, and breathe. It gets easier, it might not be the end of the world for some, but for you it can leave you feeling like it really is the end of the world, and it's ok to feel sad, but dwelling on the sadness won't make it go away any quicker, just make sure, no matter how you choose to deal with it, look after yourself. Self care, self love, it's hard to do, but it honestly is so important.

Lastly..

This isn't a tip, or even a suggestion, just a reminder that it is hard, but it gets easier, it becomes a cloud that does eventually pass, and when the sun finally comes through, its glorious. You've got this. Keep your head high and your smile big.

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