1. Refer to your local metropolis as "The City," even though you know it's only "a city."
It's all about how confident you are when you say it. Living the New York lifestyle is all about confidence.
2. Start spending quality time in a cardboard box and pretend it's a studio apartment in Greenwich Village.
3. Show up to your local church dressed in green. Boom. Now you're in Saint Patrick's Cathedral.
4. Make a bull statue out of whatever you can find. Do all your banking there and call it Wall Street.
5. Seek out the premiere of a local play so that you can tell your friends, "I saw that show when it was the original cast."
6. Sit in the backseat of your friends' cars and give them directions as if they were cab drivers.
7. Order Chinese takeout. Lots of Chinese takeout.
8. Jaywalk. Everywhere.
9. Proclaim "I'm walkin' here!!!" whenever you cross the street.
10. Have a disco ball slide down a dowel rod in your living room on New Year's Eve.
11. Ride the train, any train, just not this train.
12. Most cities have a street called Broadway. Go to yours, raise your arms over your head, spin jubilantly, and yell, "There's nothing like the THEATAAAHHH!!!"
13. Give tourists directions to local landmarks. If you live in a place with no tourists, give strangers directions.
14. Have the New York Times and the New York Post delivered to your home.
15. Brunch, brunch, brunch.
16. Concoct a list of reasons why your local pizza shop serves the most "authentic" pies in America. Argue with anyone who disagrees.
17. Move all of your furniture into the smallest room in your house and brag to your friends about all the extra space you have.
18. Eat a bagel.
