1. God, I love the Tell All eps. Tonight’s is gonna be good.
2. Two seconds in and I’ve already heard the catchphrase of the season, “Keeping It Real/100.”
Oh boys, how I’ve missed you.
3. Poor Tickle Monster. No one will ever remember his real name.
4. The Tell All highlights are v lit though. I love Kaitlyn. F*ck da haters girl, you got Shawn.
5. BACHELOR HAS DONE A LIVE ULTRASOUND ON THE SHOW?!?! How am I blacking out on this?!?! I’m dying.
6. Lol, but really though. Who is Jack Stone?
7. This ep is always v entertaining every season because people change their appearances based on what they didn’t like seeing on TV.
Betting on who will try too hard to look ~TV ready~ is the best part.
8. DRUM ROLL PLEASE…. The try-hards for this season are…. Iggy, Alex, definitely Alex, hahaha omg lol and for sure Dean. What happened to his hair??
9. Seriously, who told him this was a good idea?? It had to have been Alex.
10. Side note: I feel like they brought back the most random guys, no?
11. So over this Bryce/Whaboom fight. No one cares about either of them.
12. “Timeout.” - Chris Harrison. *interrupting him* “No, time-in.” - DeMario. Yaaaassss.
13. Yes, DeMario, Keep It Real.
14. “Who are you? You’re irrelevant.” - DeMario to some dude who was apparently on this season (Jamey???) that I have never seen in my life. Dead.
15. Opinionated, Iggy? More like gossipy af.
16. Dead at everyone being like, Lucas, shut up.
Although, Iggy does look like a millennial reverend.
17. I love how all the guys are just as obsessed with Dean as us.
But we can all agree that he’s too immature to be the Bach? Sorry, Deanie Babies
18. Lee better get dragged rn.
19. Keeping It Real/100 mentions so far: 4.
20. Oh yes, Chris. We are juuust scratching the surface of this. Would love to hear more about ABC’s role in this racial conflict, but v down for dragging Lee first.
21. And another Keeping It 100.
22. Kenny’s impersonation of Lee is gold.
23. Kenny’s genuine love for his daughter is beautiful.
24. “He (referring to Kenny) did not pull me out of the van.” - Lee finally telling the truth. “Yeah, no sh*t. I know.” - Kenny’s perfect response.
25. Stop. Mackenzie (sp?), Kenny’s daughter, is flawless.
She is who I want to grow up to look like, and be like, let’s be real. The braids with the charm. The dress. The naturally stunning face. An 11-year-old is my new style icon and is also the sweetest, dopest kid ever.
26. Love that Kenny’s birthday is really just a birthday for Mackenzie. But who cares?? She’s GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
Lol thanks for the free trip to a theme park you own… ABC/Disney. Shameless plug.
27. Lee’s turn in the ~hot seat~ This is going to be good. And by good I mean extremely uncomfortable and hard to watch.
28. Dead at whoever called him a racist a**hole under their breath.
29. I’m not buying Lee’s bull sh*t rn.
30. Yas, Anthony. Preach.
31. P.S. Is Alex even there??? Haven’t heard from him once.
32. OK, DEAN.
33. Yaaasss bring up the tweets rn!
PSA: Bachelorette producers reached out to Lee via social media to cast him after seeing his various racist, xenophobic, misogynistic posts. Just an FYI.
34. Josiah just coming in hot with every single question we’ve been dying to ask Lee. Like why a racist would want to date the first black Bachelorette of all time?
35. DeMario, yaaaaassss. Dropping straight knowledge about Lee’s unbelievable racist comparison of the KKK and the NAACP on Twitter.
36. No matter what half of a tweet that is, it’s a racist af tweet.
If it's even half of one... Word on the street is it wasn't one of his longer FB posts actually.
37. Straight LIIIIIVINGGG for Anthony directly confronting Lee over his inherent racist behavior and mentality in the most intellectual way possible.
And tbh, with a sexy af voice. (Amiright??)
38. The hand in the pocket after, though. *swoons*
39. Keep It Real/100 mentions: 6.
40. “That’s a hard thing to say, that you were or are a racist.” - Chris Harrison while directly asking Lee if he’s a racist.
41. This apology is a step in the right direction, but could also be complete bull sh*t.
I will give Lee credit for agreeing to come back and sit through this because that was a choice.
42. I feel like this is the first real conversation about race on reality TV where the white, privileged man can’t just cling to his ideology or bull sh*t and has to confront the inherent racism he’s a part of.
I’m living for it, clearly.
43. God, these guys are so respectful and classy. Shaking Lee’s hand and hugging him after that. ~Keeping It 100~
44. RIP Dean’s previous hairstyle. Can we please go back? Please, Dean!
45. Lol, yes Dean. It was for sure too much.
46. I can’t take this heartbreaking story again. Please don’t force Dean to rewatch this in front of everyone.
47. Dean’s fam needs therapy not the exploitation of ABC for more “diverse” hometowns.
48. WAIT. HIS JACKET IS CAMO PRINT?!?! How am I just now noticing this??
49. Wow. Dean answered Chris’ judgmental and rude “raw and real” question so well.
Be transparent with your fam, Dean. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.
50. This Rachel-Dean meeting is gonna be acca awkward.
51. Lol, like we all didn’t already know Deanie Babies was on BIP.
52. ALEX AND DEAN ARE WEARING MATCHING CAMO-PRINTED JACKETS.
53. Ugh, Rachel slaying. Missed ya, queen.
54. DEAD. QUEEN RACHEL JUST FELL BUT DIDN’T FALL FLAWLESSLY. Please bow down.
55. Ew, Bryce looks like a douche even in a 1-second shot.
56. Damn, Dean getting right down to the confrontation.
57. Omg. And he is wearing booties and polka dot socks. Someone get this kid a stylist and tell him to stop listening to Alex.
58. Queen Rachel just shrugging her shoulders being like, I’ve dated plenty of DeMario’s. You gotta go. YAS.
59. But is DeMario not allowed to speak now?? He legit did not say a single word during that interaction with Rachel, it was all hand gestures.
Did they ban him from speaking after the f-bombs? Also, how many bleep-outs is ABC allotted during episodes? So many questions.
60. DEAD. “I’m black, what?!” - Queen Rachel. I’m legit liiiiiiving.
61. Damn, Rachel still being like, cmon Kenny. Do better. Love it, Rach. The highest standards.
62. DRAG LEE, QUEEN RACHEL. DRAG HIM.
63. Honestly, I feel like Rachel could teach me a lot too.
*whispers* Please teach me how to be a Queen like you.
64. Rachel taking none of Lee’s sh*t rn. Like sorry nah, I don’t feel bad for the racist.
65. And again, ABC really shouldn’t get to pat themselves on the back for reaching out and casting a known racist solely for drama.
But props to Rachel and the men for handling it in the best possible way.
66. Lol, does anyone even remember Adam? I don’t.
67. Aw, Fred probably practiced that monologue so many times in the mirror.
68. Hahahahaha actually dying at Kenny hitting on Rachel still.
69. Rachel is almost as clumsy as me.
70. THE GUM.
71. Josiah is me af with this food in Norway. Honestly, the best 5-second clip in Bach history.
72. The shaaade, though!!! Love it, Rach. Josiah was v salty.
73. Hahahahaha wait why tf are we just now seeing this face mask/hot tub situation with three dudes in the blooper reel???
74. TICKLE MONSTER! Like where is he though in this ep???
75. The boys on the golf carts are such children and I love it. Those white people were defs terrified inside.
76. IT BETTER BE PETER OR I SWEAR TO GOD.
Actually, I’d take Eric. I love him too at this point.
77. Booooo no one cares about Bryan being “blessed.” Show us Peter.
78. Big E & Big Rach’s first meeting actually makes me believe in love at first sight.
I mean not actually, but kinda
79. Omg I don’t think I can bear to see Eric’s heart broken.
80. PETER THOUGH.
81. Brb can’t type. Too busy admiring Peter & Rachel’s perfect pairing.
82. Peter and Rachel have to work out.
Seriously, my Bach bracket needs them to.
83. WAIT ADAM’S DOLL IS IN THE AUDIENCE. I’ve actually died.
84. The zoom-in on DeMario when they announced the BIP fake trailer was coming… soon. Inappropriate and messed up, ABC.
85. OMG WHAT PETER BETTER NOT GO HOME FIRST.
86. Well, ‘twas a Men Tell All to remember. Mostly for how the black men and woman on the show handled, in the most classy way, a racist and a show that cast him on purpose for that reason.
Talk to you again post-finale, my fellow Bach Queens.