1. The host's bedroom will no longer be available for random hookups.
2. The neighbours will actually be warned of this party.
3. Music volume will be at least 10 decibels lower.
4. And conversations shall be more meaningful.
5. Drinks will be consumed from actual glasses.
6. Food served will be actual food.
Not just ketchup chips and candy.
7. And there must be a cheese platter.
8. Hosts will know that bringing more than two guests will be considered poor form.
9. But by the way, bringing attractive eligible friends is definitely still allowed.
10. Any dancing will take place on the floor, and not on the tables.
11. The post-party cleanup shall commence immediately.
12. Drinking water before bed will actually be a thing now.
13. And washing up will not stay in the sink for longer than a day.
