Skip To Content
    Posted on Jun 22, 2015

    The Definitive A-Z's Of Pride Weekend

    "N is for Nipples: Here a nip, there a nip — everywhere a nip nip."

    Will Varner & Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed

    A IS FOR ANTICIPATION

    Or possibly Agony? Who are you going with? Where are you going to meet? Wait, when does the parade start? *faints*

    B IS FOR BABY GAYS

    Easily spotted from a mile away, their eyes aglow with wonder and awe. Sigh, to be young!

    C IS FOR CROP TOPS

    * squints * As far as the eye can see!

    D IS FOR DYKES ON BIKES

    Leading off the parade, it's like a never-ending sea of badassery.

    E IS FOR EMOTIONS

    I'm not crying, you're crying!

    F IS FOR FLOATS

    Big floats, small floats, ugly floats, tall floats. You're just looking for the free t-shirts and stickers.

    G IS FOR GLITTER

    That will continue to cling onto your clothing, skin, and personal belongings until the end of time as we know it.

    H IS FOR HASHTAG EVERYTHING

    I mean, pics or it didn't happen. #Pride#PrideSelfie#Instagood#Instagay#Blessed

    I IS FOR "I'M COMING OUT"

    ....being played around 1000x times (and you singing just as loud each time.)

    J IS FOR JERKS

    Anti-gay protesters, we never invite you and yet every year you show up!? Good thing our signs always seem to get the best of yours.

    K IS FOR KINDNESS

    Take a moment to send up a prayer to the kind bartender that let you use the private restroom when you were about to piss yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

    L IS FOR LOVE

    Because you're positive everyone is here with their significant other and WHERE are the single people?

    M IS MARRIAGE PROPOSALS

    Because you've already witnessed at least five and if SCOTUS doesn't get its act together this isn't going to be much of a party.

    N IS FOR NEVER ENDING NIPPLES

    As in the parade, that is never ending, and also the number of nipples you've seen today. Here a nip, there a nip, everywhere a nip nip.

    O IS FOR "OH MY GOD"

    Oh my god, are we lost?
    Oh my god, how do we get out of the parade?
    Oh my god, everyone is topless
    Oh my god, this is either the best or worst day of my life... both!

    P IS FOR PROUD PARENTS

    No, that's not my dad tearing up and screaming my name — you must be mistaken.

    Q IS FOR QUEENS

    Drag queens, that is. More beautiful and majestic than you'll ever be, honey.

    R IS FOR RAINBOWS

    Obviously. Love it or hate it — those things are everywhere you look.

    S IS FOR SWEAT

    In every teeny tiny crevice of your body and in each itty bitty fold of your skin, there is sweat.

    T IS FOR TRADITIONS

    Ah, the mistakes we make year after year... like drunkenly texting your ex to wish them a happy Pride.

    U IS FOR UNDERWEAR

    And all the chiseled people, bless them, wearing only underwear.

    V IS FOR VOWS

    No, not that kind. The promise you make to yourself that you WILL find someone to make out with before the day is over. (You won't).

    W IS FOR "WHO WAS THAT?"

    Celeb spotting is a serious business. Jokes aside, your friend just went sprinting after someone who looks like Ellen Page.

    X IS FOR XOXO

    Because you are literally kissing and hugging each and every person in your path. There's no limit to love today.

    Y IS FOR YASSSS

    Everyone looks so fabulous, everyone is so happy, you are literally best friends with strangers — including the old topless woman standing next to you.

    Z IS FOR Zzzzzzzzz

    Time to sleep it off, until next year.