Blake and MacKenzie got engaged on Sunday. Naturally, they couldn't wait to spread the good news.
But prior to dating Blake, MacKenzie had only dated men.
How to let people know about this turn of events without falling subject to a label you don't feel suits you...
MacKenzie decided to create a "FAQ" post on her Facebook to announce the news:
Q: Didn't you date dudes when I knew you in high school/college/your early 20s?
A: "Indeed, yes. Blake is the first woman I've dated."
Q: So you were closeted back then?
A: "Nope. I never wanted to date a lady before Blake, and it seems to have worked out nicely."
Q: You have to pick.
A: "I'm not Chinese or white, I'm a mixture of both, right? It's a spectrum. Also, that's not a question."
Q: Is it weird being in a same-sex relationship for the first time?
A: "Not really, and not nearly as weird as it would have been if I didn't have such awesome family and friends. 'I'm dating a woman.' 'Great. Where are we eating?' Not everyone is so lucky. So...thanks everyone."
The reactions were pretty amazing:
MacKenzie and Blake shared a bit about their love story with BuzzFeed:
How did you two meet?
Blake: We have a mutual great friend, Jessica, and we met through her several years back. So there were occasional birthday outings and Oscar parties, and I always thought MacKenzie was cute, but I was in a relationship, she dated men. Then, one day, everything changed. Can you fall in love at first sight when it's not actually first sight? If so, it was that. Whatever that is. I loved her so instantly that it was disorienting. I'm sure I'll feel back to normal any day now.
MacKenzie: Blake used to work with my very good friend Jessica, so I knew her for a couple of years before we started dating. I've always had gay friends in my life and had thought of myself as a pretty stalwart ally, but I'd never felt the desire to test the homo waters. So it was something of a surprise when, after two years of knowing Blake as a casual acquaintance, I had the creeping realization that I was attracted to her. At first it was easy to shrug it off as a "girl crush" (she's so smart and cool and stylish and I get nervous around her!), but it became increasingly obvious that it was an actual crush, on a girl (why are my palms sweating so much?).
How did your family and friends respond initially?
Blake: Many of my people were nervous for me and I could tell. Jessica especially. I was 29 and I'd only dated women since I was 18. I think they thought we were doomed, that MacKenzie would destroy me eventually. "The 'straight' girl will always break your heart" or some such nonsense based on bullshitty notions of rigid sexuality. For a while, I think I thought that too. But anyone who thought that didn't know MacKenzie well enough, and that included me. But, my younger sister — ever the romantic — from the first time I told her about MacKenzie, said, "But Blake, what if she's the one you're meant to be with?"
MacKenzie: Pretty fabulously. There was some understandable surprise, but I didn't really encounter any negativity. I feel so fortunate that I live in a context where it was totally OK for me to date a woman just because it felt right. Had I been afraid of people's reactions or of my own shifting sexuality, I could certainly have continued dating only guys, writing off my attraction toward Blake as a weird, never-to-be-examined one-off. And what a disaster that would have been. In a way, I feel like Blake is my reward for having been an Ally in Good Standing — from high school GSAs to asking my nephew to cool it with the "that's so gay"s. Because of all that, I'm in a place where I get to marry Blake, and everyone's thrilled about it.