Avril Lavigne has released the music video for her new single "Rock N Roll."
The video is truly bizarre, in the best way possible.
1. The opening scene, which is just one huge shameless product placement for Sony.
"Oh sorry, my Sony water-proof phone is ringing!"
2. When Avril takes a call to reflect upon the complexity of her own lyrics.
3. When you realize the world of rock is in peril and somehow Billy Zane is involved.
You know, Billy Zane. The guy who wasn't Leo in Titanic.
4. When Avril is all dressed for battle, but her faithful sidekick is totally stuck in office attire.
5. When, out of nowhere, it's revealed her partner-in-crime is Winnie Cooper from The Wonder Years.
No seriously, that's Danica McKeller.
6. The moment she pays homage to her past lyrical genius.
7. When she hit a solid grounder with this creepy doll.
8. When she takes a minute to give the waitress a totally punk rock makeover.
9. When lobsters are used as a form of weaponry.
10. When the evil lobster pulls out a switch-blade and everything just gets real SO fast.
It's a lobster people.
11. When the dog is driving the get-away-car, and everyone seems totally fine with it.
12. When everything becomes animated just long enough for the dog to crash the car.
13. When the dog doesn't make it, and everyone takes a moment to mourn his death.
14. When the grief becomes too much, so Avril makes out with Winnie Cooper.
I repeat, Avril Lavigne made out with Winnie Cooper.
15. When the video gives a nod to The Wonder Years with some thoughtful voice-over dialogue.
16. When there is Bearshark.
17. The moment everyone realizes the Bearshark species can't move too swiftly.
18. When Avril stands over the Bearshark's decapitated head, completely triumphant.
It's important to note she killed the bearshark with a motorized chain saw guitar.
19. And Billy Zane totally approves of it all.
Thanks for all your help Billy, geez.