1.
PITCH: "Reverse Queer Eye" - Five straight men come to your house and absolutely destroy your life.
2.
how i be at 3am watching tasty recipe videos that i will never cook https://t.co/CNmlWoE5Gq
3.
me waiting for my number neighbor to text me first bc i’m shy
4.
Girl, I'm a sweet guy Reply to all your tweets guy Be cool if we could meet guy Send pics of your feet guy Please reply to my chat type Or else I will get mad type You only date Chads type Whatever, you're so fat type I'm a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice guy Bitch
5.
The male equivalent of getting bangs is thinking about doing stand up
6.
I was crying and my bf said “look at yourself. You’re wearing your big hoops and this is not big hoop attitude” you right boo
7.
Was feeling mad bummed out all day so I ate sushi and a cheeseburger and a brownie sundae and the good news is I am now in too much physical pain to notice my emotions
8.
Am i stupid or does anyone else hold off having their lunch break for as long as possible? So then when i get back I have less time until i finish?????
9.
Been all over this fucking mall looking for this boy😒
10.
just took a probiotic and an antibiotic. does this mean I am taking...nothing?
11.
Antoni explaining what farm-to-table means to a fourth generation dairy farmer is lobotomy goals
12.
Vibrator died so you know what i have to do
13.
so i tried the phone number neighbor thing- and lemme tell u im HOLLERING AT THE END
14.
I told my boyfriend some guy tried to get my number, here’s his reaction 🤦🏾♀️
15.
broh driving in la is such a trip i’m still laughing
16.
spider-man: weird your rug looks just like a giant piece of paper me: [sneaking up behind him with enormous cup] that 𝑖𝑠 weird
17.
This is what everyone looks like at the end of a video when they’re stopping the video:
18.
30-50 feral hogs? sounds like my dating history lmao
19.
houseplants b like due to personal reasons i will be passing away...
20.
michael cera is trending so i’d like to make it publicly known that i am his doppelgänger
21.
*eats soup* you’re telling me an alphabet made this?
22.
my sister got a tattoo of our parents and... I —
23.
I posted a picture on my insta in my ex’s shirt and let’s just say he probably won’t ask for it back again anytime soon
24.
H E Y POT TER Y B A R N AR E Y OU S U RE I T'S "DISHWASHER SAFE"
25.
the other night my boyfriend & i got drunk together, i went to go to the bathroom & guess i was in there too long, so he told me if i’m okay to grab the cheezit