This, my friends, is a mandoline.
And though it may look like a helpful tool to easily slice potatoes and vegetables into thin, identical shapes, it's actually a WEAPON.
Just imagine: There you are after a long day at work and you want to cook yourself a ratatouille or something, but you don't feel like chopping vegetables for 30 minutes. So, you grab your handy-dandy mandoline and are just slicing away, getting caught up in the moment, when all of a sudden the thing going through the slicer isn't a zucchini, it's YOUR FINGER.
Right now, you're probably thinking to yourself: "What kind of idiot would slice their finger? That would never happen to me." Or, "Clearly, someone wasn't paying attention to what they were doing."
Well, in a new, hilarious video, Chrissy Teigen dramatically opened up about her own traumatizing experience with a mandoline.
She began, "I haven't used a mandoline for four years. I'm getting emotional! I bought my first mandoline; I brought it home because I'm so tired of slicing mom's potatoes for her scalloped potatoes."
"I have John start slicing and he does one of his 'Ahhs!' He always makes a big noise because men can't handle pain very well."
"I was like, 'What is it?'" she continued. "And he was like 'I cut my finger on the mandoline.' And when I say he cut his finger...he sliced the entire tip off of it. All John has is his fingers!"
"So, I said, 'Gimme that! I'll finish it.' One pass through the mandoline and, I too, cut my finger off immediately."
"We went to the emergency room, they reattached our fingers, and now I don't do anything without my kevlar gloves," she concluded.
People in the comments shared their own stories and all I can say is, "YIKES!"
Nooooooooo.
I feel this pain.
OUCH!!
As someone who has ALSO sliced their fingers on a mandoline (twice!!!), I vote we start a support group.
