1.
This funniest shit I’ve seen all day g. He say this how Eminem raps.
2.
i noticed there was a blank wall at mcdonald’s so i decided to make this fake poster of me and my friend. It’s now been 51 days since i hung it up. https://t.co/5OTf5aR4vm
3.
Kuwaiti police has shut down a fish store that was sticking googly eyes on fish to make them appear more fresh than they are. :-) via Al Bayan newspaper, @bayan_kw. https://t.co/CcPa73fDQh
4.
Single at 23: “I have to go out and meet someone!” Single at 29: “If it’s meant to be the right person will find me in my home.”
5.
bitch truly got her revenge on her class bullies.
6.
imagine penises getting hard by cracking them like a glow stick
7.
Hello world! I am going to tell you about this awful problem I have! Every time I type out a professional email I cannot help but write like this! I cannot stop this habit for I am afraid people will think I am uninterested and rude! Please send help! Thank you for your time!
8.
They really had us operating heavy machinery in first grade. https://t.co/w9WYCWoCCX
9.
10.
recipe writers: tsp is teaspoon, tbsp is tablespoon me, an intellectual: tusp recipe writer: no me: tubusp
11.
100% real vicious pit bull attack
12.
I need my obituary to be THIS fire! Don’t put my picture in them dusty ass clouds lol https://t.co/Hz7kHYLH8x
13.
professor: ok for the first day i'm just gonna go over the syllabus white girl in planner: 𝑀𝑜𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓎 💛 • 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓎𝓁𝓁𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓈
14.
hey i’m going to hell does anyone need anything
15.
that tree is dying https://t.co/JRKDbdGers
16.
Especially when you hit decline and go to sleep https://t.co/ilNxZBlLgI
17.
What’s the worst thing about your name? I always get people asking me if I’m ok. If I’m ok. If I’m ok.
18.
me: do u mind if i connect to the bluetooth? kinda bored back here cop: what are u talking about. im bringing u to jail me: wow ok. 1 star
19.
this touched my heart. they reaIIy be fighting for me. https://t.co/p4u7bZiSzj
20.
This girl next to my in class offered me a sip of her drink cause I mentioned that I was thirsty.. I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of vodka cranberry at 9am y’all
21.
When you’re drunk and run away from your sober friend https://t.co/J4pTinoREm