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If this show about a lovable motley crew of college students really did exist, you bet you'd wanna know!

Which Character From This TV Show* (*Does Not Exist) Are You?

You're at a show. Who's the cutest in the band?

What do you incorporate into your outfit for a night out?

Your dream house. Describe it.

Which are you most likely to keep on your person?

When someone hands you aux, you put on...

Let's fall into a rabbit hole looking up something on the Internet. What's the something?

Which, to you, seems most connected to the divine/otherworldly?

Cool, you're Stephen! An only child of divorce, Stephen lives in a poorly insulated carriage house and double majors in English and Entomology. He started the entomology hoping to learn how to cure his carriage house's extreme bug problem. Stephen avoids confrontation sometimes, but he can also get in some very heated debates and/or yelling matches. He prefers the B-side of every album. His guilty pleasure is mozzarella sticks, and he will not return any books you lend him.

Stephen

Ziggy wears jeans that she knows are too tight and gets cigarettes from the old-timey vending machine just because. She has very vivid dreams in which she communicates with a bunch of different people from the dreamscape. Her favorite Halloween candy is pina colada Dum-Dums and her favorite smell is sweat that smells like fresh cut grass. She loves to show up to every function, but often feels isolated once there. Like she'll look at the sky or the ceiling and experience it all alone. Not necessarily in a bad way. Sometimes she wants to cry thinking about her middle school teachers, wondering if they are lonely.

Ziggy

Woohoo, you're Taylor! Taylor is the sexiest librarian (fine, library employee) this side of the Mississippi. They make a mean soup and buy fun Band-Aids with children's show characters on them. (You can say "mom friend" if you want.) Taylor is intentional about shopping locally and loves to see movies in theaters. They can't stand to see their loved ones hurt. Growing up, Taylor's older sister had a pet chinchilla that they brought to class every year for Bring Your Pet day, until it died of fright from seeing another student's German shepherd. This is a very dark memory for Taylor.

Taylor

Oh heck yeah, you're Carlisle, the clairvoyant character! All his life Carlisle has been able to see and communicate with ghosts. It's been both a blessing and a curse. He tries not to let it affect his day-to-day life, wherein he eats a lot of carrot sticks, studies philosophy like a jackass, and comments on a lot of subreddits. Carlisle realizes way more than people give him credit for. He just likes to process things quietly. If you gave him cupcakes for his birthday, he'd probably shed a tear. But he wouldn't want anyone to like, tell you that.

Carlisle McMasters

Like Vanna, you are loud and proud and also the tallest member of your band? Yes? Are you in a band? Vanna wears heels knowing they will make her hair touch the ceiling fan, and she's down to dig into any topic that other folks might shy away from. Like, bringing up O.J. Simpson at Thanksgiving dinner. She listens to punchy music and loves the buzz from sugary caffeinated beverages. After her last breakup, Vanna gave herself bangs, and they turned out terrible but she laughs it off. Uncouth and carefree. In middle school, she sent her crush Tommy Wexler mix CDs signed "anonymoose."

Vanna

You are college dean "Archie"! I say "Archie" because no one really calls him this, it is more of a desired nickname. A side character at best, the Dean wants to marry George Strait and goes to Jamaica for every vacation. He falls asleep with the TV on and treats himself once every year to a nice set of pajamas. I guess I would call him organized and attentive. He thinks a great date idea would be to ride horses on a nice trail. I forgot to mention that Dean Archibald is also a puppet. He tries not to let this affect his day-to-day life.

Dean Archibald "Archie" Peluso

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Which Character From This TV Show* (*Does Not Exist) Are You?

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