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Unfortunately for this hellfire of a world, both Schitt's Creek and Rose Apothecary do no actually exist. But if they did, David Rose would artfully curate what to sell and what not to sell at the store. Here's an unofficial list of things that I think would make the cut!
1. This activated charcoal body milk that is exactly what it says on the label - milk for your body. No, you can't drink it! - ₹190
2. This strawberry body yoghurt that is super-light, instantly absorbable and definitely not fit for consumption - ₹945
3. This hand-made tinted lip balm with Rose Damascena & Saffron essential oils that over 1,400 people love and trust will definitely find a place by the store's register - ₹245
4. This hand-made charcoal soap with Neem and Cinnamon that will fit right in with David's monochrome aesthetic - ₹229
5. This Quantum Quattro gemstone bath bar with actual gemstone powder is just the kind of affordable luxury you would find at the store - ₹255
6. Or this hand-made goat milk and patchouli healing soap, the likes of which they probably source from Heather Warner's farm - ₹180
9. This foot cream with clove and sandal oil that comes with a 4⭐-rating and glowing reviews from the town mayor, Roland Schitt - ₹164
10. While not quite Mr Hockley's tea, this Santing Oolong tea with notes of wildflower, caramel, citrus and earth is very on-brand for David and the store - ₹259
11. This knitted chenille teal blanket would absolutely be nestled in the corner of the store with the cat-hair scarves - ₹2,369
12. This gorgeous hand-crafted ceramic aroma diffuser that is probably one of their top-sellers - ₹1,199
13. This Lavender and Rose toner with zero sulphates and parabens that is an extremely important part of David's 9-step skincare regimen - ₹360
14. These delicious sugar-free breath mints that should ALWAYS be next to the register. Any other placement is simply incorrect - ₹120
15. This stack of hand-made paper, recycled from fine cut cotton is just the kind of pretentious but still stunning thing you would find at Rose Apothecary. Remember the stick pen Ted got Alexis? Yep! - ₹300
16. And if they're selling vintage paper, the Rose-Brewer's also definitely have a feather dip quill pen in stock - ₹980
