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22 Things That Happen While Choosing Your Wedding Dress

Prepare for the most epic shopping mission of your life.

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1. You'll spend hours curating detailed Pinterest boards of your favourite wedding dresses.

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And then you'll discover they’re all designs from 2013, or aren’t available to buy anywhere in the Northern hemisphere.

2. You'll suffer deep shock when you learn that some wedding boutiques actually make you PAY to go try on the dresses.

Warner Bros.

So let me get this straight, I have to pay 50 BRITISH POUNDS to come and try on your £3,000 dress?

3. You'll have a major dilemma over your underwear situation before the appointment.

Flickr: silkyside / Creative Commons

White or nude underwear? Strapless bra or stick-on? No-VPL thong or giant fortress pants that squeeze your whole body in like a sausage skin?

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5. You'll secretly think, Who the fuck would wear that? approximately 100 times as you walk around picking some dresses to try on.

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Even in the very nicest shops there will still be LOADS of dresses in your hate-abase.

6. You'll convince yourself you're not going to be one of THOSE brides who spends the cost of a car on a dress you're only going to wear once.

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And then inevitably fall in love with the most expensive dress in the shop.

7. You'll feel the fear that if you touch the dresses you'll somehow leave grubby paw marks all over them.

Instagram: @thelittlebeautiquenz

You’ll silently thank yourself for being way too lazy to fake tan the previous evening.

8. You'll experience the weird sensation of being clipped into a dress by a woman you’ve never met before.

Instagram: @jrosegrimes

Just remember, this is totally fine because it’s what happens to Beyoncé backstage ALL THE TIME.

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9. You'll get trussed up so tight you wonder how brides actually eat…

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Would your guests mind if you changed into joggers and a hoodie for the meal?

11. You'll feel the pressure of the "grand entrance" every time you try on another dress.

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There is nothing to make you feel quite as self-conscious as being unveiled to your bridesmaids like an exotic bird.

13. All the brides in the shop will secretly be hoping THEY look the best.

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*sucks stomach in, stands on tiptoes*

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15. ...and wish you’d bothered to sort your hair out before this amount of mirror time.

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How can you even to contemplate feeling like a beautiful angel when you have greasy locks and a chin spot?

16. You'll ask, “Have you got one exactly like this, but cheap?”

Instagram: @thebridalstudio

And you just know the shop assistant is doing a thousand eye rolls inside.

17. You'll play mind games with your bridesmaids by waiting for their opinions first.

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If possible, you'll try to have zero facial expressions. This is basically a fascinating psychological experiment to you.

18. You'll fall in love with the "cathedral length" veil the shop assistant pops on your head at the last minute to "complete the look".

Instagram: @mary_me_bridal

And then promptly fall out of love with it when she quietly mentions how much it costs.

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20. You’ll wonder how to point out that you feel slightly overaccessorised.

Instagram: @robercaballero

The lady starts bunging tiaras, belts, jewelry, AND twinkly shoes on you.

21. You’ll try to convince yourself to just buy a cheap dress off Asos.

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Just think what you could do with the money you save!

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