18 Things I Need To Tell James McAvoy To Get Closure

    A WOMAN NEVER FORGETS. (But Happy Birthday and all that, James.)

    1. How could you do this to me?

    2. I know we were young, but we were in love.

    3. And then you threw what we had away.

    4. SO WHAT if I was 13 and living in suburban New Jersey.

    5. SO WHAT if you were a Scottish actor trying to make his mark in the world.

    6. SO WHAT if you were living across the pond.

    7. SO WHAT if we had never met and I just thought we'd randomly run into each other at some point.

    8. Don't you dare cry — you're the one who did this!

    9. You chose Hollywood over someone you didn't even know existed.

    10. You chose fame over a possible life with an eighth-grader.

    11. And look at you now! All smiley and scruffy like that.

    12. Without a care in the world.

    13. Ugh, shame on you for aging like a goddamn miracle!

    14. There's no way you can "atone" for these sins.

    15. Remember when you promised we'd be the couple that makes it?

    16. I know you probably don't remember because I made it up.

    17. But I'll never forget us, James.

    18. THIS IS FOREVER <3. Oh, and happy 36th birthday today and stuff.

    Full disclosure: I have never met nor spoken to this guy in my life, but his eyes are like, sooooo dreamy.