Reddit user u/socialunsocial recently asked, "Men who keep secrets from your partner, what kind of secrets, and how lethal are these?" Luckily, many of the secrets weren't "lethal" at all and actually...kinda sweet? Here are some of the best responses:
1. "My girlfriend chews her food noisily. She used to have an eating disorder, and so I refuse to ever let her know so she can keep on eating tasty food with me without overthinking it."
2. "I don't give a shit about 90% of the TV series 'we' like to watch together. I go along with it because I like her getting into the shows and talking to me about them and having a distraction from the daily stresses."
3. "My wife misplaces things; I’m extremely organized. If she asks me to help her find things, I pretend to look for a minute with her. If I just tell where the item is, she gets very frustrated because I almost always know where things are. Also, I bought a dozen fingernail clippers and sprinkled them where she can easily find them. I’ve never told her."
4. "I love hot, spicy food. She used to have almost no tolerance for chili and had a shamefully bland diet. Over a period of several months, I cooked regularly and, starting with a teeny-tiny bit of chili, slowly increased the amount in our food. One day in a Thai restaurant, she was thoroughly enjoying a dish and offered me a bite. It was so hot, it blew my head off. Was literally a victim of my own success."
5. "When she tells me I can find something else to watch on TV, I tell her I’m not even paying attention, but secretly I’m very invested in whatever terrible show she’s watching."
6. "My wife doesn't know that I record her when she cooks. She LOVES to cook. She does a little dance and hums to herself. She's beautiful. Sometimes, when she is having a bad day, I pretend to feel ill and ask for her to make me pumpkin soup, and she lights up. She'll whip up some soup and her mood improves. I've saved the videos, and I hope to watch them together when we're old."
7. "I watch TV shows we both like without her because she likes to talk through them. Then I watch them with her later and act as if I have no idea what's going on."
8. "Back when we were dating, we went out of town with her youngest child. The older boy, 17, stayed behind because he had to work and whatnot. I left my car at her house along with the keys. Long story short, when we got back, I noticed something 'off' about my car. I got in it and realized that somebody else had been there at some point. So I took a look at the dashcam footage. It's kinda hidden behind the rearview mirror; hard to see it unless you're looking for it. Her son took it for a joyride while we were gone."
"Nothing crazy, didn't go down the strip doing burnouts and picking up girls. Nice, leisurely drive through the neighborhood. I ended up confronting him about it man-to-man. We settled that, and I agreed never to tell his mom about it. She already had a lot going on in her life being a single mom, and it wasn't as if there was any harm. He was all around a good kid. I would've given him the keys if he had just asked. He's 23 now and has a lil' family of his own. She and I got married. Still haven't told her, but I'm gonna use it one day at some family get-together, LOL."
9. "I've been helping her win races in Mario Kart for a couple of years now. Keeping other racers off her tail and trying to make sure we finish comps on equal points is a pretty fun challenge."
10. "I guess it's not technically a secret I'm currently keeping because she left me, but my ex never had a lot of close friends or family. So I kinda brought her into my friends and family, and on holidays and birthdays, I'd make sure to tell all of them to wish her happy holidays/birthday, but to make it seem as if they just knew and thought of her — not that I told them."
11. "My girlfriend came from a super-conservative background, and it took her a while to feel comfortable with her sexuality. She spent her late 20s making up for lost time, and she’s super proud of the progress she's made. We’re mostly open about our sexual histories, but a little while ago I mentioned having done something that I thought was pretty innocuous, and she got self-conscious. She said it made her realize how inexperienced she is. But I don’t think she’s inexperienced, I just had different experiences. Anyway, I know this is something she’s self-conscious about, so I’m probably never going to bring up the time I worked in porn."
12. "She snores like a pack of horny, angry bears having some sort of MMA orgy on the back of a semitruck that is trying to downshift too soon. I tease her about that, of course, because I love her. The part I don't tell her is that...that shit is my white noise at night. When she is gone for some reason and I have to sleep alone, I just can't sleep as well."
13. "When I buy something for our son, I often lie about the price I paid so she doesn't get mad: 'He already has a lot of toys and we spend too much, blah, blah, blah.' We are wealthy, and it's my revenge for living in poverty when I was a child myself."
14. "I have a savings account she doesn’t know about. My wife sees money differently than I do. I like to save, she likes to spend. We have always talked about saving more, but then we do and she will spend it. So I just worked around the problem. I will eventually tell her, but that’s a ways off. I’m not sure how she will take this."
15. "I bought my wife’s engagement ring on Amazon for around $20 a few years ago. I was poor at the time and couldn’t afford an expensive ring, but I still wanted to propose. She still wears it to this day, and the ring looks fantastic with her wedding ring. She thinks it was a super-expensive ring; I’ve never told her the truth. She told me the other day that she doesn’t care how much it cost, she loves it either way. Now that I’m making a significant amount of money, I want to surprise her with a better one."
16. "My bicycle cost $6,000, not $600."
17. "I have more money than she thinks I have, and I sometimes buy expensive things for her, telling her that I found a good deal online — for example, a really expensive road bike when she was not even looking for a new one because her old, heavy one 'works just fine.' She thinks I’m a genius deal finder, when in reality, I just buy the stuff for her because I like to see her surprised and happy. If she knew what I paid for things, she would absolutely not approve and would probably refuse all of it."
What's a secret you're keeping from your partner? Share it in the comments.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length, clarity, and/or grammar.