Millennials Now Receiving News From Avocado Toast

Millennials – the generation of bizarre and meaningless meme humor, obsession with adding avocado and unicorn colors to every food group, and snapchat filtering every life’s moment. With all the food to destroy and people and events to meme-ify, how do we even find time to keep up with the news? Not to mention all the FAKE NOOS and clickbait circulating in every corner of our smartphone. Our pure minds do not understand that Justin Bieber is probably not buying a lake house in Minnesota but we put our trust in these credible sources and share it across all social media platforms anyways. Us Millennials are done looking a fool in front of our peers at our unnecessarily themed dinner parties. It was in front of our eyes and in our hands all along, how could we have not seen’t this before. Step down CNN, Fox, Snapchat discover, and TMZ, we are only trusting our news from the only credible news platform- avocado toast. No more of this buttered flavorless news, time for news rich in vitamins C, E, K, and B-6, and not limited to riboflavin, niacin, folate, pantothenic acid, magnesium and potassium. Millennials can no longer afford to buy homes but at least they can live confidently knowing their news is 100% accurate, reliable, and healthy. In avocado toast we trust.