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1. When you rip out the flash drive instead of ejecting it safely
2. When you’ve 6 long islands and try to convince your friends to let you sing Mariah Carey karaoke with the token old townie
3. When you check whose birthday it is on Facebook but then remember they didn’t write happy birthday on your wall so you spite them and don’t post happy birthday on their wall
4. When you down 4 cups of fruity wop and wake up with a pounding headache in another time zone
5. When you send off a fire snapchat selfie and he leaves you on read
6. When you think you’re doing a really good job convincing the traffic cop to not give you a parking ticket
7. When you try to persuade your marketing group to put your name on the project even though you were somehow MIA the past few weeks
8. When you pretend you weren’t the one that broke the chandelier at Stacy’s housewarming
9. When you and your friend have the pre-pregame talk about how we will be mature about boys tonight but we both know it ain’t going to happen
10. When you can’t help but take the opportunity to make insensitive jokes at your friends expense and you get away with it because you are the epitome of charm and chic
11. When you try to charm your professor into rounding up your grade even though you were late to every single class
12. When your token work friend decides to take a vacation and leaves you alone with Susan in HR
13. When you are yawning at the sunday neighborhood graduation party and your mom and Carol makes remarks about how you must've had a long night
14. When you claim you are barely buzzed and take a tequila shot with Chad
15. When Theta Chi turns away your blonde friend for being too turnt
16. When the wine brings out your true self too soon into a friendship
17. When some peasant says "cool rocks" to your crystal collection
18. When your college friend invites you back to their small hometown in Iowa and you are clueless to the lingo
19. When you convince your friend to go out to the bars and make bad decisions
20. When everything in your life is going well but you still can't but help stir the pot
21. When someone tries to undermine your authority and you have to remind them who they are and who they are dealing with
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