With Christmas On The Way, I Thought It Was A Good Time To Revisit Nickelodeon's Very Important "Merry Nickmas" Album And Rank All The Songs

"We can make a beautiful Christmas, we can make the world shine bright."

Let's rewind a decade and have a Nickelodeon-style holiday celebration by listening to the "Merry Nickmas" album. I ranked the tracks from songs we should skip to songs to songs we'll want to leave on repeat all season long.

Nickelodeon / Via thumbs.gfycat.com

9. Jingle Bells — Drake Bell

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Look, this cover is perfectly and boringly fine. There's nothing wrong with it on its own, and there was nothing to object to about it back when this compilation was put together. I'm going to guess, though, that since you're reading this list on Buzzfeed right now, you've read as many headlines in the past year or so about Drake Bell as I have. So. We're just gonna move on, okay?

8. Don't be a Jerk (It's Christmas) — Spongebob Squarepants

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I know Spongebob is a cornerstone of Nickelodeon existing as a network and an icon and all. I respect that. I totally get why this song is part of this complication. Honestly though, how many times can you possibly listen to this song? How many times can you possibly pretend this is a real song? I know it's Christmas and we all pretend that "Christmas Don't Be Late" and "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and all are real songs. Hell, I'm going to strongly defend some other Nickelodeon Christmas songs as valid songs near the top of this list. This just isn't one of them.

7. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town — Rachel Crow

Rachel Crow / Via i.ytimg.com

I'm not going to lie about it, I had to look up who Rachel Crow was. (She won X-Factor, apparently.) This cover is one of several fairly boring covers. It's also the weakest. It's not outright bad or anything. It is unfortunately pretty skippable, though.

6. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree — Victoria Justice

Victoria Justice / Via i.ytimg.com

This is also a perfectly and boringly fine cover. There's nothing wrong with it. I have no complaints about this one. I also can't overly praise it, but that's mostly because it's kinda forgettable. Solid but not exciting. Unlike Drake Bell, however, as far as I know, Victoria Justice is a perfectly lovely person. So this can rank right in the middle of the pack.

5. Deck the Halls — The How to Rock Cast

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Did you remember How to Rock was a show on Nickelodeon? No? That's okay. I don't actually remember it either. That's not what's important here. What's important is that one of the stars of the very short-lived How to Rock was MAX, who, in my opinion, is easily one of the most talented people to have ever spent time on Nickelodeon. This cover is already cuter and has higher energy than the earlier covers on this list, and MAX elevates a few notches above that.

4. All I Want for Christmas — Big Time Rush

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We're getting into the good stuff now. This is fun as hell. In retrospect, I'm not sure I would have chosen this cover for Big Time Rush, and I'm not sure I wouldn't have rearranged it for their vocal ranges a bit more if I had. The processing on this one makes Logan's voice a little unrecognizable. That said, look, this is Big Time Rush covering All I Want for Christmas. If you're listening to this album, this song is probably one of the top reasons why. I'm not gonna ever skip it, and I can't possibly rank it any lower than this. In fact, I'm probably going to put it on repeat several times.

3. It's Not Christmas Without You — Victorious Cast

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The songs from Victorious were often the best thing about it, and this is no exception. Plus, like all songs credited to Andre in the Victorious universe, this is a standout. These lyrics are honestly charming. This whole song is a gem. I'm incapable of listening to this song without it getting stuck in my head all day. In fact, my only complaint about this song involves complaining about the plot of the Christmas episode of Victorious, and I'm not going to do that here. I'm just going to appreciate how great this song is.

2. Beautiful Christmas — Big Time Rush

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I'm not ashamed to admit that I legitimately really like this song. I like it enough that I sometimes think it's kind of a shame that a slightly reworked radio version of this song doesn't exist and never became a "real" Christmas song in any way. Like, not to give corporate America ideas or anything, but the fact that the chorus of this song hasn't been used in commercials for a decade now, playing as a voice-over says, for example, "this year, make it a beautiful Christmas, with a little help from the Home Depot," seems like a missed opportunity. But what do I know?

Seriously, though, this is a really delightful little Christmas song. Some of you might have concerns about places where these lyrics get a touch ridiculous. Maybe, "Frosty can melt away, as long as I got you here," makes this feel a little kitschy for you. To which I say: fair. I also counter with: "Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing. A ring, I don't mean on the phone." and "Just a little bobsled we call the old Saint Nick, But she'll walk a toboggan with a four speed stick," and "Run, run Rudolph, Santa's gotta make it to town, Santa, make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down." I'm just saying a little kitsch never hurt a Christmas song.

1. Sleigh Ride — Nickelodeon cast

Nickelodeon / Via youtube.com

Listen. This cover of Sleigh Ride features Big Time Rush, the iCarly cast including Jerry Trainor, the entire Victorious cast, and MAX again through the How to Rock cast. That's an All-Star lineup for this Nick era. It even has an absurd but great music video. It would be perfect if it also managed to include Katelyn Tarver and Keke Palmer, but you can't have everything. This is absolutely ridiculous in the best way. There are all these weird little spoken bits scattered throughout it that are equal parts absurd and entertaining. Plus, it's a genuinely well done cover that's definitely the best cover on this compilation. It's so enjoyable. It's like a perfect double shot of nostalgia and holiday spirit. (Seriously, watch the video, it's a treat.)

Listen to it on Spotify:

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