Dame Judi Dench Has Done A Documentary About Trees And It's Bloody Amazing

"My life is now just trees. Trees and champagne."

I just want to let you know that this is the best opening to a television show I have ever seen in my life.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

This is the start of a primetime British television show, on BBC One, presented by Dame Judi Dench. It's called...

BBC / Atlantic Productions

Now, this is not the first time that we have had a show entirely about trees. This time last year, Father Ted's Dougal did an awards ceremony for trees.

Channel 4 / Kudos

That show raised some questions: 1) How can trees win awards? 2) Why? 3) As there are 3 billion trees in the UK, how do you narrow it down? 4) How do you nominate a tree? Do you fill in a form? And if so, wouldn't that be sad for the nominated tree as forms are printed on paper, made out of trees?

Anyway, I was invited to a screening of this Judi Dench tree show at Kew Gardens in London, and when I arrived there was this poster in front of me of Judi Dench hearing a tree.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

I then decided to immediately tweet a photo of the poster and I got this back as a response not long afterwards.

Paul Curry @cr3

@matthewchampion @scottygb @flashboy i see they've made a meme in to a film

01:30 PM - 06 Dec 2017

And here for you, from the episode, is the sheer exhilaration Dame Judi Dench expresses when she hears the tree for the first time.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

FUN FACT WE LEARNED FROM THIS JUDI DENCH TREE DOCUMENTARY: Trees make a sound as they suck up water from their roots.

And not long after we saw footage of her hearing a tree, she said this straight-up goddamn amazing quote:

BBC / Atlantic Productions

I would just like to let you know that here we are only two minutes into this show.

Now, while this documentary might seem rather random, it appears that Dench really does have a keen interest in trees. It's very evident throughout.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

Dench has her own forest. We also learn, rather touchingly, that she plants trees for any friends who have passed away during her life.

Then there's a moment in the show when they try to work out a tree's age with a guy called Tony, until they both get stuck on mental maths so use a calculator.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

It's great to know that you can achieve a lot in life, be loved throughout the world, and do so without having to be good at maths at all.

It is also full of amazing tree facts, which constantly delight Dench – so much so that at one point she suggests giving up acting to talk about trees.

BBC / Atlantic Productions

And at the end of the screening, which featured an in-depth discussion about trees, Dench was asked by Radio 4 Today editor Sarah Sands what was next on her tree journey. She responded: "I know it all now."

BONUS DAME JUDI DENCH CONTENT: Here is Dame Judi Dench eating a Colin the Caterpillar cake on her birthday. I am putting this here because I can and because it is delightful.

Finty williams @finty_williams

Happy birthday my beautiful, wonderful, inspirational Mama.

01:27 AM - 10 Dec 2017