1.
She knows the right way to introduce a debate.
2.
And how to introduce a telethon fundraiser.
3.
AND how to introduce an important news item.
4.
She never acts weird interviewing celebrities.
5.
She is known for her fair and accurate reporting.
6.
She knows how to relate to her interviewees' stories.
7.
And knows how to relate to her audience.
8.
She never lets her public image get to her.
9.
She never resorts to gotcha journalism.
10.
She never lets the facts get in the way of opinion.
11.
She's just like Oprah.
12.
No really, she's just like Oprah.
13.
She never, ever jumps to conclusions.
14.
And she can do the perfect ending to anything.
15.
IN CONCLUSION: "Joan gotcha. Don't it hurt ya."
