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The Donald Trump Collection

Donald Trump was criticized for his ill-fitting suit at the second Presidential Debate. But Donald Trump has his own clothing line! Surely this is a mistake! We went to The Donald J Trump Collection to peruse his fine wares!

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The Suits

Donald Trump's suits are sharp! And at only $165?? He is an American Hero. Let's click the link to check out --
Via trump.com

Donald Trump's suits are sharp! And at only $165?? He is an American Hero. Let's click the link to check out --

What the hell is this? Amazon? Trump can't even afford an eCommerce page on his own site? The guy's worth billions of dollars! Also ...
Via amazon.com

What the hell is this? Amazon? Trump can't even afford an eCommerce page on his own site? The guy's worth billions of dollars! Also ...

WHY THE HELL IS THIS THE FIRST RESULT?

This is terrifying.
Via amazon.com

This is terrifying.

The Shirts

Trump only wears the finest of thread counts of beautiful dress shirts. He is a big beautiful man. Let's check out these fine --
Via trump.com

Trump only wears the finest of thread counts of beautiful dress shirts. He is a big beautiful man. Let's check out these fine --

Come on.

It's the same damn site! Nothing has changed! And that gaping mask is still the first thing on the list! Still Amazon!
Via amazon.com

It's the same damn site! Nothing has changed! And that gaping mask is still the first thing on the list! Still Amazon!

The Cufflinks

These are high-end cufflinks. There is no doubting the quality, and Donald Trump brings the finest of --
Via trump.com

These are high-end cufflinks. There is no doubting the quality, and Donald Trump brings the finest of --

Goddammit.

I feel a familiar attachment with this site, like I've been here many a time before.
Via amazon.com

I feel a familiar attachment with this site, like I've been here many a time before.

The Eyewear

My faith is really wavering here, Trump. Much like your voter base. Please God, don't be --
Via trump.com

My faith is really wavering here, Trump. Much like your voter base. Please God, don't be --

Le Sigh.

Of course. When I want eyeglasses, I goto eyeglasses.com. No other site will do when I want my generic eyeglasses. Why go anywhere else? And the eyeglasses cost almost as much as the full suits! At least it ain't Amazon.
Via eyeglasses.com

Of course. When I want eyeglasses, I goto eyeglasses.com. No other site will do when I want my generic eyeglasses. Why go anywhere else? And the eyeglasses cost almost as much as the full suits! At least it ain't Amazon.

But what if I want the mask?

Its hollow gaze ... beckons me. What if I just click --
Via amazon.com

Its hollow gaze ... beckons me. What if I just click --

I Have Gazed Into A Portal to Hell.

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.
Via amazon.com

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.

Pestilence.

War.

Famine.

Death.

All these styles and more are available on the actual trump.com website! Have at it, and prepare for Lucifer's grasp if you want that beloved mask!
Via trump.com

All these styles and more are available on the actual trump.com website! Have at it, and prepare for Lucifer's grasp if you want that beloved mask!

Credit to Emily Fleming (@FlemilyEming) for finding this gem of a site and the jokes. She's the best!

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