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1. Coffee art stencils so you can pursue your abandoned career of becoming a world-renowned Instagram latte artist/barista/wizard.
2. A classic black bodysuit with flared sleeves for days and a daring low-cut back that — best of all — WON'T make you ~strapped~ for funds.
3. See-through socks to make you feel as though you've dipped your feet into endless pools of glitter.
4. Teensy tiny succulent planters almost too cute to buy — but that won't stop you! Consider your shopping cart FILLED.
5. A vibrating forklike massager with rounded tentacles that make the tension melt straight of your system (and more specifically, areas like your forehead, scalp, neck, and even lower regions like your hips or thighs!).
6. A mini frying pan for cooking the perfect fried egg, mini pancake, hash brown, and all your other miniature food dreams.
7. A springy makeup sponge holder to prevent your beauty poofs from picking up ALL the germs, and in a pinch, it doubles as a handy stress reliever.
8. A chic crossover v-neck top with dainty embroidery that singlehandedly gives your wardrobe a major boost.
9. A size-adjustable heartbeat ring to remind you that you're doing quite alright, even on the days you feel like you won't make it to the end.
10. Soothing collagen-packed eye patches that'll hit the reset button on your tired and puffy AF eyes after staring into the gloomy glare of a laptop screen for 12 straight hours.
11. A bottle (or multiple bottles) of rosé cider to ~hit the spot~ after a long-ass day — because nothing else would make your bougie heart happier!
12. Black satin bow slides that'll prep you for the onslaught of amazing poolside and beachside days ahead!!!
13. A billowy floral cardigan to make all of your worries fade away in the breeze (byeeee, work deadlines!).
14. A barkin' adorable mat that'll be just as excited to greet you as a real pupper.
15. Dual-ended markers to add a lil' flourish to the simplest of doodles, birthday cards, and everything in between.
16. A set of colorful dinosaur-themed balloons so your kiddos can pretend to be Steven Spielberg directing Jurassic Park.
17. A nifty and compact massage roller ball to encourage you to plan little pockets of relaxation time throughout the day.
18. A three-piece baking sheet set complete with four emoji cookie cutters, because if you're NOT baking poop-shaped desserts, what ARE you doing with your life?
19. A simple cap to take your passive-aggressiveness to new levels when you just. Need. Your. Space.
20. Hydrocolloid acne patches. These are all the rage right now, and for good reason, because they magically absorb excess oil without overdrying your skin and basically making blemishes that have come to a head disappear overnight or after a few hours.
21. A washable organic cotton lunch tote that'll encourage you to pack your lunch and subtly scream, "I'm fiscally responsible!"
22. A sparkly-as-hell mermaid brush you should buy just because it's so freaking pretty — ok, but also because it's really soft but still able to pick up and apply products super nicely and smoothly.
23. A makeup organizer with drawers, slots, and holders galore — so your amazing beauty finds actually have a plan to live instead of being strewn all over.
24. A rainbow whisk that'll guarantee every batch will come out unburned and textured juuust right.
25. A lovely mesh pearl tee to catapult you to fashion stardom — add in a leather jacket or a cute skirt and bam, you're in.
26. A huggable AF avocado pillow you can heat up ~or~ freeze depending on your avo-cuddling and relaxation needs.
27. Adorable little egg poachers to help you master the art of at-home brunching.
28. And last but not least, a pillowcase with metallic gold framing to remind yourself of the #1 priority in life.
The one time you should listen to Bethenny Frankel:
Check out the entire collection of Tasty kitchenware at Walmart here!
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The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.