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    I'm Shit At Cooking, So I Banned Myself From Takeout

    If you want to learn, you must force yourself to do what's right.

    View this video on YouTube

    BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com

    If you live in a city, getting delivery or takeout is just SO EASY.

    Paying someone else to cook for you adds up.

    The Rules:

    1) No ordering takeout

    2) No eating at restaurants

    3) Cook your own dinner

    My goal was to find one simple, healthy-ish meal that I could repeat every week.

    Monday: Timing Is Everything

    Tuesday: Attempt to Prep

    I ended up eating microwaved corn and three servings of mac and cheese (which I also microwaved).

    I knew that if I was going to be a real cook, I was going to have to graduate to the oven.

    Wednesday: Too Much Fruit

    Grocery stores are overwhelming places for me — there are so many decisions to make. I've been told I don't get enough vegetables and protein, so I tried to factor that in to my remaining meals.

    Thursday: Oh Fuck Me

    Wrong. Because I have half a brain, and the missing half is definitely the part that knows cooking common sense.

    In my hurry to get home and walk my dog, I had thrown my casserole in the oven WITHOUT REMOVING THE PLASTIC LID.

    It wasn't until an hour later, when weird-smelling smoke started to fill my kitchen, that I realized my mistake.

    The plastic lid melted in the oven and released toxic fumes throughout my kitchen.

    Ten-year-olds know not to put plastic in the oven. I know not to put plastic in the oven. And yet, I put plastic in the oven.

    My roommate and I escaped the fume-filled apartment, and I bought chicken tenders for dinner. I officially failed.

    Tonight I learned 1. cooking plastic in the oven fills your apartment with poisonous smoke and 2. my smoke alarm is purely decorative

    Friday: My Redemption

    Admittedly, I was close to giving up.

    So I decided to take a step back. Simplify. I know how to boil water and cook pasta. Why didn't I just try to do a healthier version of that?

    I stopped by the grocery store, my personal hell, and picked up some spinach ravioli. My meal was ready within 20 minutes, and guess what?

    IT WAS EDIBLE AND DIDN'T TASTE LIKE ASS!!!

    I learned I could cook at a fifth-grade level, and if I want to get better, I need to take baby steps. For now, only simple recipes (and not ones I make up).

    I'm also getting this permanently tattooed on my body in the hopes that the message will seep through my skin and travel up my bicep and into my thick skull. Fingers crossed!