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I Stopped Using Shampoo Six Months Ago And I Look Great

It was a very difficult time for me.

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I know it sounds crazy. Don't you need shampoo?

No. The truth is that your scalp produces natural oils — and they're more than enough to keep you looking your best.

Here's my hair while I was still using shampoo:

Zurijeta / Getty Images

And here's me without shampoo, six months later:

Mark Duncan / AP

I've also cut out eating most meals.

Here's what I was eating six months ago:

Notice that it's a meal for two.
Peter Hellberg / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: peterhellberg

Notice that it's a meal for two.

And here's an average meal today:

theimpulsivebuy / Creative Commons / Via flickr.com

Long story short, my GF Amber and I hit a rough patch — literally. We were driving, someone swerved the car into a cactus patch, and we had a pretty bad fight that led us to break up. (It was me, I swerved the car.) Anyway, I've changed a LOT in the last six months.

No shampoo, a brand-new diet, and now I only shave when I get the energy to care about how I look. Which is not often.

But it's not just about what I've cut out. I've started doing a lot of new things too. For instance, I started getting into car crashes on purpose just to feel something.

The car six months ago:

Michael Gil / Creative Commons / Via flickr.com

The car now:

John Lloyd / Creative Commons / Via flickr.com

And I've started a very intense Jim regimen.

Jim is the guy Amber is dating now and I'm very intensely following him around. I don't have a photo of Jim from six months ago because who was Jim then? Just one of Amber's co-workers, or so I thought.

But now I have lots of photos of Jim.

SW / BuzzFeed
SW / BuzzFeed
SW / BuzzFeed

It's cool, following Jim around is getting me out of the house, which I don't really leave otherwise.

The house six months ago when I was happy:

longlostcousin / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: longlostcousin

And my bedroom now:

I don't know what that stain is!
James Mitchell / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: jamesmitchell

I don't know what that stain is!

So can you cut out shampoo? Yes.

And you can cut out food, you can cut out personal safety, you can cut out all emotions but hunger and sleep, and most people don't even consider those to be emotions, and not only will I look my best, but I WILL FEEL BETTER THAN EVER BECAUSE I WILL FEEL NOTHING. DO YOU YOU HEAR ME, AMBER? DO YOU HEAR ME?

I look great and now I don't need shampoo.

I don't need anything.

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