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27 Moments From "The Simple Life" That Belong In A Damn History Textbook

Pull up a chair, because they didn't teach this in high school!

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1. Literally every time they unleashed the most important phrase in the English language, "that's hot", but ESPECIALLY this time:

5. When Paris gave life advice so profound that it belongs in a TED Talk:

Fox / Via cady-heroine.tumblr.com

"When you're older and you don't want to do housework, just do everything wrong, because then, you won't be asked to do it again."

7. When Nicole held down a phone call while also changing male grooming patterns for the better:

FOX / Via beverlyhilton.tumblr.com

"Hi gorgeous, how are you?"

"I'm doing good. How about you?"

"Just taking a little break. I'm shaving your husband's nipples."

"What?"

"Sweetie, I've got to go 'cause my hands are full of your husband's nipple hair."

10. When Paris gave directions that would have made Christopher Columbus proud:

FOX / Via queenmichael.tumblr.com

"Hi, um, we're up in the mountains and we need to be rescued. We're in between, like, five mountains with trees everywhere."

13. When Paris stood up for the proletariat and had this very important question about her work uniform:

FOX / Via iambaddha.tumblr.com

"I'm going to give you some work uniforms, you have five minutes to get into them, any questions?"

"Do they come in pink?"

15. When Nicole did a Betty Friedan and turned our patriarchal society on its head:

Fox / Via beverlyhilton.tumblr.com

"Sit down."

"Are you gonna make me feel comfortable?"

"Yeah, don't be rude. What color are your nipples?"

26. When Nicole joined Aristotle and Plato as one of philosophy's great minds when she answered Paris's question with another question:

27. And finally, when Paris and Nicole not only changed this sign for the better, but also altered the course of human history in the process:

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