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Celebrity

16 Moments From "The Simple Life" That Will Never Not Be Funny

"That's hot."

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1. When Nicole excelled at customer service:

"Do we charge to check out the brakes squeaking?"

"No, ma'am."

"We normally charge, but you sound hot, so I'll give it to you for free."

2. When Nicole had to borrow a quarter:

"$49,604.25."

"Do you have 25 cents?"

3. When Paris decided to get environmental:

"That is Earth. It's hot. Don't pollute."

4. And when she was athletic as hell:

"Do you wanna go sit? My heels are hurting me. It's hard to play basketball in Louis Vuitton."

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5. When this incredible exchange made it to air:

"No, she said 'laundromat' which means you wash your own clothes."

"What?"

"Mhm."

"You take your laundry somewhere to wash your own clothes?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"A laundromat is where people who can't afford a washing machine clean their clothes. Like, you go and put 25 cents in and, like, clean clothes. You never heard of a laundromat? You go there and put in a quarter. I've seen it in movies, like in 40 Days and 40 Nights. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"That's what it is."

6. When Paris wasn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions:

"Hi, um, do you have any, like, dogs?"

7. When Paris couldn't get away with multitasking:

"We can't have you sitting there."

"I'm sunbathing."

8. And when she didn't mince words:

"Send in the next bitch."

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9. When Paris had to fill us in about Tinkerbell's medical history:

"Has Tinkerbell ever contracted an STD?"

"No. She's a virgin."

10. And when she ordered ice cream as only she could:

"Actually, can I have five more of these blonde bitches?"

11. And when she tried to return fast food:

"We don't have enough money so can we give this back?"

12. When Paris and Nicole almost got to know each other a little better:

"He's cute, we should have a threesome with him."

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13. When they tried to reconcile, but Nicole called Paris the eff out:

"How could you do this to me?"

"How could you wear blue fur?"

14. When something got lost in translation:

"Loves it. Do you love it?"

"Do I love it? What? Love what?"

"It. Every second of it."

15. When nothing, not even death, was off limits from a "That's hot":

"I was at a funeral yesterday..."

"That's hot."

16. And finally, when this was Nicole's explanation and it just made sense at the time:

"Listen, it's 2005. Things happen."

CORRECTION

There are 16 "moments" in this post. A previous version misstated the number. Listen, it's BuzzFeed. Things happen.