Friends, gather round. We need to discuss a food faux pas that has gone unmentioned for far too long.
You clicked the headline, so you know what I'm talking about. It's the fact that mint chocolate chip ice cream is gross, and I'll fight you if you disagree.
Let's start with the most important thing of all: THE FLAVOR.
If I wanted to eat something that tasted like frozen toothpaste, I'd stick a tube in the freezer and go to town. But ICE CREAM that tastes like toothpaste? NO THANK YOU.
Let's get one thing straight: mint is not a gross flavor! It's useful for gum and toothpaste and mouthwash and anything else that is used to freshen your breath. But as a dessert? GIRL, YOU CRAZY.
ADDITIONALLY, why ruin not one but TWO perfectly good sweets (ice cream and chocolate) by including mint? It's absolutely LUDICROUS.
It's like simultaneously trying to brush your teeth AND enjoy dessert at the same time, and it is NOT fair.
But friends, I'm not here to report just one crime against our taste buds. Call in the FBI, call in a SWAT team, because we have a lot of misdeeds.
Mint chocolate chip ice cream doesn't just TASTE gross, it very often LOOKS gross.
Like this bright green color is probably a nice option if you're buying highlighters since it's back to school time, but as a food? SO MUCH NOPE.
It just isn't NATURAL.
And because some delusional people think mint chocolate chip ice cream is an acceptable "flavor," they'll have it in their fridge and offer it at parties, as if you (a reasonable person) might want some. If it's the only option, you're skunked! It honestly would be better to offer NO ICE CREAM.
For real, just buy chocolate or vanilla ice cream like a normal person. It's not that difficult!
Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that mint chocolate chip has given way to other minty misfires, like candy cane/peppermint ice cream. NONE OF THESE ARE ACCEPTABLE.
Like, peppermint ice cream isn't as BAD as mint chocolate chip ice cream, but it is still part of the problem! 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE UNAPPETIZING!
And don't even get me started on OTHER mint chocolate chip-flavored desserts. All I have to ask is, "WHY?!"
In summary, we the people deserve to live in a world that is devoid of mint chocolate chip ice cream, because that world is simply TASTIER. Thank you for your time.
For more strong food opinions, check out these posts: