Hi y'all. Take a seat. We need to talk about something so serious, so profound, so IMPORTANT...I can't believe we've never talked about it before.
I'm of course talking about the iqoniq, the legendary, the timeless soundtrack from A Goofy Movie. Now before you start going all "Whut?!" or "HUH?!" on me, let me smack some sense into you.
As I'm sure you remember, the movie starts off with the catchy-as-hell "After Today" which basically summed up every last day of school in your life, ever.
Aside from the fact that it introduces us to Max's love interest Roxanne, which is like, sort of the point of the movie...
...we also get to celebrate "40 more minutes of home economics"...
...and perhaps most important of all, these distinguished goths. BLECHHHHH to pep rallies, indeed!
But of course, this cinematic masterpiece — and more important, the musical journey of a lifetime — WAS JUST GETTING STARTED.
Because just when you thought Principal Mazur might put you to sleep with the concept of "science slumber parties"...
...Max leapt up on stage to perform "Stand Out" and it was impossible for you to stay seated. You HAD to get up and dance.
Like, when Max got up on stage and channeled his inner Powerline...it pretty much made your childhood, right?
And this poster could serve as your life motto too, ya? Thought so.
Of course, Max's day doesn't end so well, he gets in trouble with Principal Mazur, Goofy gets involved, yada yada yada. Let's cut to the good stuff (THE MUSIC, in case you forgot what this post was about).
Because the next song up was the CRIMINALLY underrated "On The Open Road," which is basically the ultimate road trip song. Oh, and Goofy finally sings.
Admit it, when you heard the rattling of Goofy's keys, the "pop" of the exhaust pipe, and the clanking of the pans on the roof of the car...you started to shimmy on your couch a little.
Face it, you loved Goofy's cheery optimism that was perfectly downplayed by Max's pessimism about being dragged to Lake Destiny when all he wanted to do was go to that Powerline concert.
Although Goofy's driving did leave something to be desired during the song.
But enough goofing around. The previous songs were great, but we need to talk about the signature number from A Goofy Movie, one of the most iqoniq songs in Disney —nay, CINEMATIC — history.
You know the one, the song you've been waiting for this entire post..."I 2 I"!!!
Because it wasn't just the whole movie that led up to this musical moment — IT WAS YOUR ENTIRE DAMN CHILDHOOD!!!
No matter how hard you prayed...Powerline just couldn't become a real-life pop star. ::CRIES TEARS FOREVER.::
When Powerline performed "I 2 I," it was like the coolest concert ever got to be in your living room, all thanks to the magic of VHS. What an EPIC song it was.
Also, important sidenote: It might not have registered as a kid, but for a cartoon dog, Powerline was pretty attractive, no? Just me? OK, moving on...
And mid-song, don't act like you didn't laugh your ass off when Goofy accidentally stumbled into this dressing room...
...and pumped your fist when Max FINALLY evaded the security guard, made it on stage, and Roxanne totally loved it. The movie could have ended right then and there, and it would have been perfect.
And last but not least, let's be real...we're all still trying to learn "The Perfect Cast" choreography, but to no avail.
Case closed: A Goofy Movie's soundtrack is the best soundtrack OF ALL TIME!!!