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Posted on May 12, 2017

Literally Just A Bunch Of Hilarious Tweets From Christine Sydelko

"My idea of eating balanced breakfast is having a lunchable instead of a sleeve of ritz crackers so I hit more of the food groups."

1. This fitness inspiration:

the only reason I want to lose weight is so I can rap shoop by salt n pepa at karaoke bars without getting out of breath

2. This incredible anniversary:

7 years ago today I ate a churro in Spanish class and almost died because I'm allergic to cinnamon :)

3. This brave story:

last night I was so high I spent 20 minutes cutting one fingernail

4. The time she slid into Dr Pepper's DMs:

5. Coachella 2017:

6. This very important medical question:

7. This very accurate lookalike:

good morning I look like the villain from the incredibles

8. This relatable question:

how do people have "nightly routines" I just shove the laundry off my bed and go to sleep I'm lucky if I even remember to brush my teeth

9. This harrowing tale:

one time I burped and it sounded like "babadook" and I couldn't sleep for 3 days because I was convinced he was coming to get me

10. This dietary advice:

my idea of eating balanced breakfast is having a lunchable instead of a sleeve of ritz crackers so I hit more of the food groups

11. This #artsy photograph:

12. This cute picture:

13. The time she shared fan art:

why do I always get the worst fucking fan art lmao

14. This magical story:

I lost my voice so I sound like Dumbledore from the first two Harry Potter movies

15. And this incredibly important anniversary:

4 years ago today I was interviewed for the news about Pope Francis but the graphic made it look like I was the new…

16. The time she talked about being fiscally responsible:

I just tried to buy so many legos that my bank locked my card and I had to call them to confirm all my gay bar charges from last night

17. This cute pet picture:

when ur allergic to cats but u love them

18. This accurate analogy:

19. This brave statement:

if I had to choose between being murdered and watching an entire episode of the big bang theory I would choose murder

20. This movie that needs to be made ASAP:

21. And when infidelity strikes:

When you find out he's been gleep glorping other bitches

22. The note she shared that was crazier than any of the Hangover movies:

23. This very accurate life motto:

I honestly, deeply, truly, wholeheartedly, genuinely, really do not give a fuck

24. And finally, quite possibly the funniest tweet ever:

Ok but why do I look like the fucking ride

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