Jerry Seinfeld's Inner Monologue Reviews His Instagrams

    WHY AM I YELLING?

    Samir Mezrahi
    by Samir Mezrahi

    BuzzFeed Staff

    DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM GOING TO EAT THIS?

    WHO DECIDED TO LIGHT ALL OF THESE CANDLES

    DID IT FLASH? I DON'T THINK THE CAMERA FLASHED?

    WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WHY DID I AGREE TO BUY IT

    (I HATE FESTIVUS)

    THIS TREE CAME WITH THE HOUSE

    I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

    THIS IS A BOOK

    I FORGOT HOW TO SMILE

    OK IT'S BACK I REMEMBER HOW TO SMILE AGAIN

    OK NOW I AM LIKE AN A+ SMILER PLEASE DELETE THAT OTHER PHOTO

    U DON'T WANT NONE OF DIS

    YES I EAT OATMEAL MY DOCTOR SAYS IT IS GOOD FOR MY HEART

    WHAT TIME IS IT? WHY AM I AWAKE?

    THEY REPLACED SEINFELD RERUNS WITH THAT NERD SHOW? BOOOOOOOOOOO

    WE HAVE PERFECT TEETH

    (THIS IS LIKE THAT EPISODE WHERE I DATE SOMEONE THAT LOOKS LIKE ME?!)

    YES THESE ARE MY FRIENDS

    I HAVEN'T MADE MY OWN COFFEE IN 19 YEARS SOMEONE PLS HELP ME

    I HAVEN'T CHEWED MY OWN FOOD IN 19 YEARS SOMEONE PLS HELP ME

    IT IS VERY BRIGHT OUT HERE

    IS HE GOING TO HIT ME? JUST GIVE ME A SIGN

    I CAN'T HOLD THIS POSE MUCH LONGER PLEASE TAKE THE PHOTO

    ACTUALLY WHO IS EVEN TAKING THESE PHOTOS?! WHO ARE YOU?! TELL ME YOUR NAME

    THIS IS LIKE THAT SCENE FROM KARATE KID BEFORE DANIEL BREAKS THE GLASS EXCEPT I AM ABOUT TO EAT 6 PUFF PASTRIES INSTEAD OF BREAKING GLASS

    WELCOME TO THE ILLUMINATI JIMMY. WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY HAND IS OUR OFFICIAL SIGN FOR HELLO. DON'T TELL ANYONE.

    I THINK I FOUND THE CAMERAMAN? IS THAT YOU IN THE MIRROR?

    WHERE ARE MY SUNGLASSES?

    THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!!