1. "I'm not trying to spook you with this, but I'm really concerned with your hunting abilities."
2. "You shouldn't be in here! Water is a terrifying cat nightmare!"
3. "Stop laughing, I'm trying to teach you proper cleaning techniques!"
4. "This isn't me bullying you, alright, this is me trying to save you from a lifetime of social shame because you never learned how to crawl correctly."
5. "Don't be scared! Take notes, because this is how you properly climb things."
6. "You gotta stop sleeping at weird hours, please. The daytime is for napping!"
7. "What do you mean these cords go to something important?? Cords are for playing!"
8. "I'm firmly against water staying in glasses. Firmly against it. Stop putting water in things. It deserves to be free."
9. "Things are much easier to reach if they're no longer on the shelf. They belong on the floor."
10. "Just stay in the fridge, because it's cooler in here! Stop putting yourself in places that are too warm."
11. "I'm hiding so that when you find me, you'll be surprised and love me all over again. It's simple science, guys."
12. "MONSTERS ARE REAL, THEY LIVE UNDER THE COVERS, SO STOP MOVING THE COVERS."
13. "Vacuums are essentially possessed, and you guys should know this by now."
14. "See, we already understand that birds are terrible. It's all in the beak."
15. "Laptops are for sitting and warming butts, not for work or other weird activities."
16. "We understand that fish are friends and food."
17. "Y'all need to RUN to the kitchen when you hear a can opener, alright. That's when the magic happens."
18. "Also, we know that names don't matter in the real world. Feel free to ignore everything."
