Stop Pretending Whales Aren't The Most Terrifying Creatures Ever

    You may not realize it, but whales should give you a mild panic spiral. Join me, brethren.

    Close your eyes and think about the ocean for a moment.

    Think about all the little fishies you could meet.

    Do you know what else you can find in there?

    FUCKING WHALES.

    WHALES ARE TERRIFYINGLY HUGE.

    THEY ARE ACTUALLY GIGANTIC CREATURES.

    ANCIENT DINOSAUR MONSTERS.

    Now think about how many whales there are in total.

    Where do they all live?!

    OH, RIGHT. ALL OF THE WHALES LIVE IN OUR OCEANS.

    Think about how big our oceans must be in order to HOUSE EVERY WHALE. ALL ON OUR PLANET.

    This brings us to: our planet Earth.

    SOMEHOW it's big enough for all of the whales and all of the people.

    And it's only ONE planet in our solar system...

    ...which is only a part of our galaxy...

    ...which is only a small part of a GIANT FUCKING UNIVERSE.

    Q: How many whales are in the whole universe????????

    A: TOO MANY AND THEY'RE ALL TOO HUGE AND THEY ALL LIVE HERE ON THIS ONE PLANET.

    Unless there are... SPACE WHALES.

    That's enough outta you, whales.