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1. A sweater for those who know just getting "smashed" on Hanukkah won't cut it the same as getting "shamashed."
*The shamash is the candle on the menorah that gets lit first every night of Hanukkah and is used to light the other candles.
Get it from The Workout Princess on Etsy for $24.99+ (sizes S–2XL).
2. A jumper that'll make you more excited for Hanukkah than the rabbi printed on it is.
Holla for some challah, amirite?
Get it from Amazon for $65 (sizes S–2XL).
3. A top to show how ballin' you are, and also probably how hungry you are for a warm bowl of your bubbie's matzo ball soup.
4. A cute sweater for anyone who's like, sort of, maybe, kind of fluent in Yiddish.
OY VEY!
Get it from Teepublic for $38 (eight colors, sizes S–2XL).
5. A jumper that'll simply express the most important way you plan on getting "lit" this holiday.
Promising Review: "This very soft and comfy sweater runs true to size. The blue color is very pretty and comes as shown! I am so happy to have found something comfy and fun to wear during the holiday. I bought if for myself, my daughter, and my daughter-in-law to enjoy wearing during Chanukkah!" —CarolAS
Get it from Nordstrom for $98 (sizes XS–L).
6. A crew neck to make you laugh and then inspire you to cook some challah french toast or something.
And if you make challah french toast, send me some.
Get it from Human for $35 (four colors, sizes S–3XL).
7. A pullover so you can channel your inner Schmidt from New Girl. But, you can appreciate this hilarious print even without watching the show.
Classic.
8. A sweatshirt that everyone at the ugly sweater party might appreciate more than you do.
Anyone else suddenly in the mood for chocolate gelt?
Get it from Human for $35 (four colors, sizes XS–3XL).
9. A jumper to show other people how we Jews wish each other a happy holiday.
10. A cardigan for the Jew who really doesn't like being confined to a sweater, damnit.
11. A basic pullover decked out with multi-colored LED lights that'll make you shine brighter than the candles on the menorah.
Maybe. Hopefully.
Get it from LizaDeesShoppe on Etsy for $64.95 (five colors, sizes S–L).
12. A sweater so cute, you might just have a Hanukkah happier than a llama wearing a yarmulka.
Get it from Burlington Coat Factory for $14.99 (originally $28, sizes S–L).
13. A poncho embellished with Stars of David and dreidels will probably make you the trendiest person at the ugly sweater party, or just in general.
Get it from Century 21 for $24.99 (originally $48, sizes S/M–L/XL).
14. A shirt (not a sweater), to give people a gentle reminder of why Hanukkah is so great.
Along with playing dreidel and eating latkes and jelly doughnuts, of course.
Get it from Charming Charlie for $19 (sizes M–XL).
TBH, a lil' jealous of those of you who celebrate both.
15. A crew neck perfect for the Jew who loves music and understands this punny reference.
Get it from Human for $35 (four colors, sizes XS–3XL).
Fall Out Boy, duh.
16. A fleece that proves you can't have enough Hanukkah shirts related to getting lit.
Get it from Alternative Apparel for $58 (sizes XS–2XL).
17. A poncho covered in menorahs to give you a variety of ways to show holiday cheer.
Get it from Century 21 for $24.99 (originally $48, sizes S/M–L/XL).
18. A sweatshirt with a reminder that you should take a moment this holiday season for playing dreidel with family and friends and WINNING ALL THE DAMN GELT.
Get it from Teepublic for $38 (eight colors, sizes S–2XL).
19. A simple "Happy Hanukkah" sweater so you can rock the holiday spirit without going too overboard.
Get it from Lord and Taylor for $46.80 (originally $78, sizes XS–2XL).
HAVE A HAPPY HANUKKAH YA FILTHY SCHMUCKS!!!
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.
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