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May 1, 2017

Would You Have Had A Good Marriage In The Victorian Era?

Let's see if you know how to treat a bride.

In 1897, Sylvanus Stall published a book called What A Young Husband Ought To Know. It was a guidebook for young men on how they should approach their marital duties, including sex, procreation, fidelity, "care of the bride," and "questions concerning offspring."

So, answer these questions about women, men, wives, and husbands, and find out if you would've made the kind of husband Stall approved of, or if you would've known how to spot one for yourself!

Sally Tamarkin / BuzzFeed News / Getty Images
  1. What attribute indicates that a woman's role is to be dependent upon men?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    The articulation of her bones and the size of her muscles.

    Stall wrote that "the form of her body, the articulation of her bones and the size of her muscles" all indicate her sense of dependance upon man (which is why man's divine purpose is to protect and defend women).

  2. Which is true about the roles of women and men?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Woman keeps life stable, man keeps it from stagnation.

    The author says that one of the reasons men and women complement each other so well is that man's nature is one of impetuosity and velocity while woman's is one of stability and permanency. WHO'S HYSTERICAL NOW, GENTS?

  3. True or false: Unlimited sexual gratification is essential to the comfort and well-being of the male.

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    False.

    Stall writes that this theory is contrary to the laws of God and nature and is not even worthy of consideration by "fair-minded and decent people." This checks out even by 21st century standards tbh.

  4. Wives are generally indifferent — if not averse — to what?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Women are generally indifferent — and often absolutely averse — to having sex with their husbands.

    According to the author, "In married life, all the sexual aggressiveness is with the male." So while the husband always wants to have sex, the wife could take it or leave it (but would strongly prefer to leave it entirely). :(

  5. What must a husband do to ensure a happy marriage?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    To ensure a happy marriage, a husband must sacrifice personal luxuries.

    A husband must sacrifice luxuries and self-indulgences so that he might share with his wife and family "the comforts and blessings of their home." Sorry, fellas.

  6. What causes a draining of physical powers and a weakening of the intellect?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Excessive sexual indulgence drains physical powers and weakens the intellect.

    It is for this reason that Stall recommends that married couples "restrain the consummation of the reproductive act."

  7. What are the recommended sleeping arrangements for a married couple?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Couples should sleep in either separate beds or rooms, depending on whether the husband can control himself.

    In fact, if the husband is unable to control his "amorous propensities," the couple should sleep in separate rooms with an adjoining door that only the wife has a key to. Extreme or just right?

  8. What is often the cause of the indifference to sex that many wives experience?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Chronic constipation causes women to eschew sex with their husbands.

    "There can be but little doubt that much marital indifference upon the part of wives is due to chronic constipation, which is so prevalent among women." There you have it. Hey, I mean, chronic constipation isn't exactly an aphrodisiac...

  9. What custom should prevail everywhere?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Waiting three days after the wedding to consummate the marriage.

    According to Stall: "It would allow the exhausted, nervous, timid bride to bring to the consummation of the marriage relation renewed vigor and mental composure. It would prepare the mind of the young husband for such self-possession and restraint as would be becoming in this new relation..." Three days, folks. Mark your calendars.

  10. During pregnancy some women are _____ to their husbands and become ______.

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    When pregnant, some women become a terror to their husbands, as well as sexually repellant.

    The author explains: "During gestation some women are a terror to their husbands, and render themselves miserable, and all about them uncomfortable and unhappy. During this period the wife ceases to be physically attractive, and for her own protection and the protection of the embryo, nature makes the wife sexually repellant." No, YOU'RE SEXUALLY REPELLANT.

  11. True or false: It is a father's duty to look after his own children.

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    It is a father's duty to look after his own children.

    In fact, "It is not only the father's duty, but it ought also to be his pleasure, to look after his own children." Stall drives his point home further with this zinger at uninvolved fathers: "Some husbands speak of 'the baby' as though it belonged wholly to the wife, and not to them. The thought of caring for or tending the child seems to be as foreign to their minds as though it were a child adopted by their wives from a foundling asylum."

  12. Once his wife gives birth, how long should the husband wait to resume ~ marital relations ~ (sex)?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Sex should resume six weeks after the birth of a male child and three months after the birth of a female child.

    This rule, Stall points out, comes from the Old Testament and even though no one is sure of its origins or meaning, "we can rest assured that there are good and sufficient reasons, whether they be physical, social, sanitary, or political" for the guidelines to exist, and therefore, to be followed.

  13. Complete this quote:"Do not, I pray you, oh, parents, do this unclean thing. Do not taint your clean bodies, do not foul your pure souls with the lustful of your natures..."

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    "while a new body is being developed."

    The quote comes from a paragraph in which Stall explains that it goes against the law of nature and God for a man to have sex with his pregnant wife. He says: "Do not, I pray you, oh, parents, do this unclean thing. Do not taint your clean bodies, do not foul your pure souls with the lustful of your natures, while a new body is being developed, a new soul being organized." Noted.

  14. What can cause impotence, and therefore should be avoided by husbands to be?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Excessive masturbation and sex can cause impotence.

    Or, as Stall refers to it, "excessive solitary and social vice," which can weaken and debilitate the "masculine function." Big, if true.

  15. What will help a husband practice sexual moderation in his marriage?

    Correct! 
    Wrong! 

    Exercise followed by a bath and vigorous rubbing of the skin.

    Thinking too much about sex diverts blood flow from the brain and muscles and causes depletion and drain in the husband. On the other hand, exercising will "send the blood into all parts of the body, and let the vigorous rubbing after the bath produce a healthy glow, and contribute to good health and to the attainment and maintenance of a well-rounded manhood." Got that? Post-shower rubbing will dampen sexual desire.

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