1. First up, you don’t understand the hate towards good ol’ Hawaiian – and you had enough. ENOUGH, I SAY.
2. Because melted cheese, ham, and pineapple is a match made in heaven – and what’s better than that? Nothing, that’s what.
3. You know that the distribution of ham and pineapple needs to be TOP FUCKING NOTCH.
4. Haters might think Hawaiian pizza is a crime against humanity but THIS is a crime against humanity.
5. And it is an unspoken rule that taking pineapples off the pizza is an ABOMINATION to your eyesight.
6. No matter how hard you try to spread the Hawaiian love, you get knocked back – and you get knocked back HARD.
7. And you’ve heard the “I don’t need to try it to know it doesn’t taste good” argument from your friends' mouths a THOUSAND times.
8. Besides, the more people sip on that Hawaiian haterade, the more pizza you get to yourself.
9. And while you have your haters, you know that deep down they love a food combo you find infuriating.
10. You know that feeling when your parents come home with boxes of pizza, only to see all meaty toppings.
11. Or when you realize your potential boo does not share the same love for pineapple on pizza like you do.
12. And when you request your fave topping at a party during pizza order time, only for someone to reply, “Who the fuck puts fruit on their pizza?”
13. But nonetheless, one of the little joys of being pro-Hawaiian is when a hater loses their Hawaiian pizza virginity and switches sides immediately.
14. It is a commonly known fact these eight words are the key to wooing your Hawaiian lover’s heart.
15. Because, after all, you’re a certified lover of ham and pineapple and you won’t apologize for it.
16. And you'll defend your love like it's your kingdom if anyone says otherwise.
17. Even if it means CTRL + ALT + DELETE-ing the most important people in your life.
18. And though you may feel a lil’ daring by ordering a different topping every once in awhile...
19. You know you’ll always go back to your fave, because your love for the good ol’ Hawaiian is truly unbreakable.
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