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5 Things That Would Change If I Woke Up As A Cooked Spaghetti Noodle

I was fork deep in a bowl of spaghetti when I looked at a rogue noodle on the table and wondered: if I were a noodle, how would I walk around? Would I hop on my noodle body-leg or would I squish around like an inch worm? If a noodle sits down does it bend in half or coil like a snake?? These are the questions keeping me up at night. I only have some of the answers, but I hope that each day I will come a little closer to the truth. Here are some things that would change in my life if I woke up one day as a cooked spaghetti noodle.

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4. Dating would get really difficult


Just kidding, no changes here. Who do you think I am, a person who doesn't worry about waking up as a piece of pasta? You flatter me. I'm fine guys, really. Everything is super cool and fun and flirty over here.

5. It would be a lot easier to knit me a sweater. I could simply wear a long tube of yarn and a knit cap and that could be my entire outfit, end to end.


I don't think I could knit my own sweater, having no noodle arms, though. :( I've gotta start knitting noodle sweaters in preparation.

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