1. “Good afternoon. Thank you all for joining me.”
2. “As you may know, I have already chosen a Christmas tree.”
3. “The First Lady herself inspected it very closely.”
4. “I have also commissioned a gingerbread White House.”
5. “All the key features of the First Family’s experience will be tastefully replicated.”
6. “Certain other holiday decorations have also been set up throughout the house.”
7. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some important meetings to attend to.”
8. “VERY important meetings.”
- Sean Spicer today said "his intention is never to lie" as White House press secretary, a pledge that came after making false claims this weekend about Trump's inauguration.
- President Trump signed an anti-abortion executive order that reinstates the so-called global gag rule, barring foreign organizations taking US money from providing abortions.
- The new Trump Hotel in Washington, DC, has lost more than $1 million and is in violation of Donald Trump's lease with the government, say Democratic lawmakers.
- The all-day breakfast boom at McDonald's is over as sales once again continued to fall for the fast food giant 🍳 📉