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Which Man Should You Cuff This Holiday Season?

This chi phi man is one you cannot find anywhere else. At an impressive 5'6 and probably under 150 pounds he might cuff you for an entire semester with no sign of an actual commitment but then tell everyone else that you are dating. after promises of a text back and a visit over the summer to philly that never he will then hook up with one of your sorority sisters but be totally down to still come to your date party. he also does sunrise yoga and uses the words shakra seriously so ya sorry you got this man.

Little troll man

if you want to waste a year of your life then be blessed you got this man. He's full of secret double standards and such passionate support for trump that you'll walk out of any conversation wondering how you got so lucky. so into his fraternity it hurts.

Leader of the corner of darkness

this wonderful theta chi man is 10/10. after leading u on for 6 months believing he will want to get serious, he will be confused and shocked when you confront him to want something more. after being confused why you arent good friends anymore he will troll you for a semester thru any form of social media. on the plus side, he does cs so if you need some help thats always good??? also loves his headbands so if you work out you can borrow them. Prob the best two things about him.

why can't we stay friends douchebag

this is a true renassiance man. He not only sells coke, but is also a minister, AND a UPS man. if you want the craziest/painful sex of you life after then this is the man for you. can probably keep up and tolerate a very crude type of humor so perfect if that's you. prepare not to walk after a night with him, good luck!!

your coke dealer

if you want to play snappa 24/7 at chi phi then wow arent u happy you got this guy. while he is able to have a normal conversation, unlike most men, his constant need to drink overshadows that. be prepared to never be able to have a successful beach day due to the constant sunburn this man sports after beer die on the roof everyday.

melanin isnt necessary to survive

keeping it sweet and short, this boy will have you take him to your date party but then go home with someone else. he's so "charming" though that its totally acceptable and everyone still loves him. small chance he hooks up with your other friends BUT its fine due to the charm he exudes. also could prob get you free football tickets???

going home with someone else

this boy is secretly such a girlfriend kinda guy so if you''re trying to get cuffed without any titles, PERFECT. however he leaves in 2 days so sucks to suck. but he is great for the next two days that would u have him SO QUICK GET HIM WHILE HE LASTS. objectively the hottest guy in his lower mid house so thats his claim to fame

leaving in december but cuffing you until then

this guy popped out of nowhere, still have no idea what he even looks like but if you want a lowkey type of guy you are #blessed. will frequently buy you gifts and support your extraness. also foreign so great if you're into accents.

the rower that came out of nowhere

def the type of guy to cuff you even tho u got out of a year long relationship the night you met him. really sweet but def goes for girls out of his league leading to a fun dynamic

you're hotter but hes nice so its okay

an enigma

this guy is so weird in bed and frequently asks, "do you like that" that at that point you dont like anything he does you just want to get the fuck out of there. will see your reagan shirt at invite and lowkey get so excited because he found another conservative at berkeley. however he is an engineer so could be your future sugar daddy except he never has sex with anyone so would be kinda hard to trap him

are you....secretly conservative??

"i like dogs, especially big dogs like german shepherds or huskies, i think it's the long noses"

he likes dogs

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Which Man Should You Cuff This Holiday Season?

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