back to top

10 Things You Need To Know To Sound Like A Real Soccer Fan

Fake it till you make it. Soccer is the world's favorite sport. Here's what you need to know to stay in the loop. ROGAINE® Brand, official hair care sponsor of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, is bringing you all things soccer and World Cup related.

Posted on

1. Let's start with the basics: It's "football," not "soccer."

2. And these are "boots," not "cleats."

A good pair of boots to a soccer player is like a well-crafted sword for a knight. Or something like that. You get the analogy.
ronnie44052 / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Via Flickr: ronnie44052

A good pair of boots to a soccer player is like a well-crafted sword for a knight. Or something like that. You get the analogy.

3. A vuvuzela is a beautiful instrument, and you should get one and wield it proudly.

Via gifbin.com

Ignore the naysayers. This thing is essential.

4. A dive is when a player fakes a foul in order to get an upper hand. Learn how to spot them.

Via gifdistrict.tumblr.com

These fellows are a whole new level of crafty.

5. A good "first touch" means a player pretty much has complete control of the ball.

strskillschool.co.uk / Via iruntheinternet.com

First touch is everything. This will become clear very soon.

6. "Upper 90" is the go-to term for where to place a really sick shot on goal.

It's the upper 90-degree angle of the goal. In case you were wondering.
Via shutterstock.com

It's the upper 90-degree angle of the goal. In case you were wondering.

7. A good rule of thumb during a free kick: loudly predict where you think the player is trying to aim the ball.

Via imgur.com

If you can't guess where the shot is headed based on body language, just confidently say "upper 90."

8. A "meg" is when you slide the ball through an opponent's legs and collect it on the other side.

Via twicsy.com

It's the most devastatingly embarrassing thing that can happen to a defender. Always react either in awe or extreme shame (depending on who you were rooting for).

9. There is this magic spray that has the power to make any injured player good as new.

instagram.com

When a trainer runs out onto the field and sprays an injured player with a mysterious aerosol can, don't be alarmed. It’s just a skin coolant to provide temporary relief, and it works like a charm.

10. And always vocalize your opinion that street soccer produces way better players than organized soccer does.

Via chevreboy.tumblr.com

And then tie this into a theory of why soccer isn't as big in the United States as it is everywhere else.